Cliche

Cliche but i want to say it anyway. So many things to do. so little concentration. This worrying is making me less efficient. and careless.

I thought that by doing things earlier and finished up earlier, i would enjoy a happier life. At least, i dont need to have to be thinking about it most of the time. i was wrong. i don't have problems with doing the things. i am extra sensitive of people who cant say it in a nicer way. i just hate having to do all things twice. i seemed to have developed a dislike of such people. Especially when i have piles of other works to do. seriously, i have a terrible mood swing everytimes it happened.

packing my bag to go home. Tomorrow. Meeting Pak Abu before leaving. Hope my perspective will improve after the short break. Insya Allah.

Tired and tired, enough said.

Not in the mood

Im not in the mood to offer helping hands. Im tired of people who dont know what they want or what they should do, or those who think that everything should be easier for them because other people sort of HAVE obligation to help. Im tired of this manja and mengada-ngada attitude.

If you want something, you go in that direction, invest some efforts,  spend some of your precious times for it. Not just sit around and expect everything to fall into places. NO, there's no such thing! Have some of the responsibility of actually doing things.

I'm angry at the moment. Couldn't tolerate anything less than "capable". Sorry, wrong turn you are.

The one that never come back

I am listening to David Cook's Always be my baby. and how he said that it's only a matter of time before that person comes back to him.

I want to be the one that never come back.

Just my bitter heart, talking.

I always believe in this world as a better place to see all the good things life has to offer. But, sometimes monsters reared their heads in the ugliest form. and at one point, i feel like it's no longer interesting. I dont know what to make of it anymore. 

Training thought

Taking in the solitary breakfast hour to pour my thoughts out.

i really need a medium to write my deep feeling by now. All the thoughts in my head that im sure everyone will find pretty boring to hear. All these heavy serious thinking about things in general. i had been compromising myself a lot. i never really talk about serious things because i always have the impression that no one would understand them. I talked about fancy, girlish and gay things because most people only prefer to hear the light stuffs. Not the heavier one. I never really have a friend who shared my serious venture. Maybe that's why i like being in lite class. I have the medium to purge my thought the best way i like it.

people are basically very pretensious nowadays. and that, i still find revolting. you dont even recognize the person you talked to everyday. Some people hide true colours behind the sweet smile and what seemed to be a very sympathetic countenance. each and everytime i have to remind myself that, i need to learn to trust people again. Trust that anything can happen. Your good friends today can be at any time, the person who betrays you. i am such a careful person nowadays. i might not have many friends to hang around with but i have a good night sleep. and fresh heart. You should learn from people everyday. Treat them how they deserved to treated as you go along. Not on the presumption that just because the first impression is good, then they are going to be that way forever. Yes, experience will improve our judgment. So does mine. Improving by leaps and down. Everyone in the end, or one of these days will get what they deserved. i pray for what best for them to happen.

maybe we started to grow up and therefore, we see more of the things that we usually just turn our blind eyes on. Perhaps our judgement get better too, so therefore we cant tolerate just "any" rubbish people throw at us.

i lost my train of thoughts again.

Lazy Mode

Lazy, lazy, lazy

i cant finish the tasks at hand.

i procrastinated.

i surfed the net like there is no tomorrow.

i sit around.

i feel sleepy most of the time.

i lost focus

i feel FAT.

Lazy beyond description. Huh

Bucket List No. 2

Yay! to the completion of bucket list No. 2: driving cross country.

There are many things that made me exceptionally happy. such as:

* the completion of our new house after three long years of waiting

* moving to the new house

* my first ever smartphone- which is so out of character for me. usually i would buy a cheap n simple phone. buying a new one that is totally different from what i normally prefer is giving me new definition of myself..in a positive way, of course. It is also a reward for toiling hard for the last three years.Buying it out of the sweats so to say..:).. A milestone to mark the phrase in Nicole Sclezinger's song  "i got my own life and i bought everything that's in it " perfectly. Praise be to Allah for the rezki and the blessing in the form of money, good friends and small details of life that bring happiness to me everyday. Alhamdulillah, syukur.

* everything that goes so well. I never thought that i would be able to feel the happiness of life again. i have to switch to bahasa now. Sesungguhnya tiap sesuatu itu ada asbabnya tersendiri. Dan apa yang berlaku itu adalah cara Allah mendidik kita agar tak melampaui garis syariat. Agar kita tetap di jalan yang diredhai. Supaya takdir kita tetap sesuai dengan keinginan Allah. Kerana jalan yang di tunjuki oleh Allah kepada kita itu ternyata lebih baik dan berhikmah.  Itu Pasti! Saya meyakininya. :)



Alhamdulillah, pengertian ini membuat hati lebih tenang. Minda lebih lapang.  Jiwa lebih tegar. Jalan lebih luas, InsyaAllah.Perkataan masih tak mampu menyempurnakan makna di hati. Tapi tentu difahami bagi yang merasa. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb.

Semoga kita tak alpa dengan keindahan ini dan akan masih tetap berdiri dengan perasaan rendah hati atas barakah dan rahmat Allah yang tak terhingga ini.

Hidup ternyata lebih baik hari ini. Insya Allah.. :)