Adversity is a gift

Nature by H.D.Carberry

We have neither Summer nor Winter
Neither Autumn nor Spring.
We have instead the days
When the gold sun shines on the lush green canefields-
Magnificently.
The days when the rain beats like bullets on the roofs
And there is no sound but the swish of water in the gullies
And trees struggling in the high Jamaica winds.
Also there are the days when leaves fade from off guango trees
And the reaped canefields lie bare and fallow to the sun.
But best of all there are the days when the mango and the logwood blossom
When the bushes are full of the sound of bees and the scent of honey,
When the tall grass sways and shivers to the slightest breath of air,
When the buttercups have paved the earth with yellow stars
And beauty comes suddenly and the rains have gone.

"Adversity is a gift,
So, brave through it with patience,
Soon the light will come,
As the cloud will not be there forever,
But the light will be brighter than ever"

(taken from Thought from Tongod)

Back!

while i was busy being emotional,i forgot to look at things that are important in my life.i forgot about so many things that matter.Today my mum called me about something that jerked me back to my first love. The love for my family.my not yet fulfilled responsibility.The thing that has always been the first priority in my list. i was so busy being self centered that i forgot about things that matter.

What have i done with my life?..well,letting it remain at static mode.

Now is the right time to start afresh. i like the sense of progress-moving from point A to point B. Everytime i completed any task that i do, i understand that i am progressing-hopefully for the better. i like the sense of accomplishment.
i just dont care what other people want to do with their life, im moving on!

Just a reflection-there will be a time in our life that we might never understand why we did the things we do, but life is meant to learn, re-learn, and un-learn over and over again. there is never any reason to give up.There is never any reason to give in..There will always be room for improvement and betterment.As long as you want it as badly.

"Sesungguhnya dalam kesusahan itu ada kemudahan, Dalam kesusahan itu ada kemudahan."(Quranic Ayah)
Even in the quran, Allah mentioned this.What could be greater promise than the words of God?

saya perlu..jika..

Saya akan cuba habiskan kerja saya minggu ini.sudah tertangguh selama beberapa minggu kerana saya tidak meletakkan prioriti yang betul mengikut tempatnya. Saya harus lebih fokus minggu ini jika saya mahu kerja saya selesai sebelum minggu ujian akhir.saya sedang memikirkan bagaimana untuk habiskan kerja-kerja ini kerana ada banyak yang belum selesai.hmmmm....
Saya perlu fokus jika saya mahu semuanya diselesaikan secepat yang boleh..
secepat mungkin.

Soal Hati

Saya tidak mampu menyoal hati kerana hati pun tiada jawapan untuk semua soalan saya.
Akal lain bahasanya dengan hati. hati yang kadang-kadang masih tersisa rasa, dan akal yang berfikiran-sudah!cukup disini!habis!
Bagaimana hati? Pudarkan saja rasa disitu kerana warnanya sudah tidak kelihatan. Bagaimana hati?
Kata hati mengatakan semuanya sudah tidak berasa.warna sudah pudar.Lupakan saja.Tidak ada guna mewarna di atas air.tidak ada kesan pun.Yang berwarna hanya darah dari luka.Kata hati lagi,tidak mengapa.Luka sedalam dan sebesar mana pun tetap akan sembuh. walaupun memakan masa-tapi hakikatnya ia sembuh!
Kata akal-Benar.Mengapa perlu gusar?Jika begitu yang perlu terjadi,biarlah ia terjadi.Biarkan.Berikan sedikit waktu, pasti semuanya akan baik.

Kata saya:saya akan baik.saya hanya perlu sedikit ruang untuk memperbaiki keadaan.Mudah-mudahan yang terbaik untuk saya.

Perfect Distraction

at least one good thing that comes out from this entire mess is..she is a perfect distraction for me to stay away from a certain someone.At least she served as a warning sign for me, my own borderline to control myself and strenghthen my resolution to stay focus on my life and mend my myself.
Yeah, Game On!

I Hurt Myself Today part 2

I hurt myself very badly.i am devastatedly broken.It was self inflicted pain. really.

For a start, my instinct tells me that there is something that is just not right about these two so called close friend of mine. i have a weird feeling everytime her phone beeps.i think that he is texting her.and then i found out that it is true.

Everytime, she comes to office in the morning, i always have this funny feeling that says, they both has grown closer than they are willing to admit. I have the suspicion that she is not telling the entire truth. I have the feeling that what she says was not the entire story as she claimed it to be.

No wonder all these while, i feel that he is so distance, and was treating me like dirt. He is eyeing somebody else. No wonder, he is keeping me at arm lenght-just for someone that he said he dont like-but is wooing anyway..Bloody Bullshit.

No wonder he is so friendly these lately-to everyone in the office.When he said he prefer to do his work than go around mingling. All to get attention from her. No wonder.

The first time she told me about them, i couldnt stop myself from crying.i cried because of the thing he said to her. So all these while, i was wasting my time trying to be a friend, and he didnt seem to notice my existence.I cried because i was stupid enough to trust him with myself. i cried because he didnt seem to care about anything. And i also cried because i noticed her smiling eyes when i cried. she was actually happy about this. Infact, i think she is falling for him already. Despite her denial.

No wonder she looked so weird when i chatted with him about Q meeting one day. She looked so weird. so now i understand what's her look meant.i actually saw him staring at her.i begin to notice small things that passed between them after she told me about them. How could they assume that i wont notice?

A good Muslim is patient in time of trouble. A good Muslim gives her total surrender to Allah. After all, patience has its own reward.i promise myself that i will not give anybody the satisfaction of seeing me crumbled under pressure.i hold no grudges.
i have the greatest strenght at my side, and He never let me down. Tawakaltu 'ala Allah. Insyaallah.

I Hurt Myself Today

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here


If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

(Johny Cash)