I hurt myself very badly.i am devastatedly broken.It was self inflicted pain. really.
For a start, my instinct tells me that there is something that is just not right about these two so called close friend of mine. i have a weird feeling everytime her phone beeps.i think that he is texting her.and then i found out that it is true.
Everytime, she comes to office in the morning, i always have this funny feeling that says, they both has grown closer than they are willing to admit. I have the suspicion that she is not telling the entire truth. I have the feeling that what she says was not the entire story as she claimed it to be.
No wonder all these while, i feel that he is so distance, and was treating me like dirt. He is eyeing somebody else. No wonder, he is keeping me at arm lenght-just for someone that he said he dont like-but is wooing anyway..Bloody Bullshit.
No wonder he is so friendly these lately-to everyone in the office.When he said he prefer to do his work than go around mingling. All to get attention from her. No wonder.
The first time she told me about them, i couldnt stop myself from crying.i cried because of the thing he said to her. So all these while, i was wasting my time trying to be a friend, and he didnt seem to notice my existence.I cried because i was stupid enough to trust him with myself. i cried because he didnt seem to care about anything. And i also cried because i noticed her smiling eyes when i cried. she was actually happy about this. Infact, i think she is falling for him already. Despite her denial.
No wonder she looked so weird when i chatted with him about Q meeting one day. She looked so weird. so now i understand what's her look meant.i actually saw him staring at her.i begin to notice small things that passed between them after she told me about them. How could they assume that i wont notice?
A good Muslim is patient in time of trouble. A good Muslim gives her total surrender to Allah. After all, patience has its own reward.i promise myself that i will not give anybody the satisfaction of seeing me crumbled under pressure.i hold no grudges.
i have the greatest strenght at my side, and He never let me down. Tawakaltu 'ala Allah. Insyaallah.
3 comments:
i feel like crying reading it.it happened before & i'm scared that it will happen again..
i taklah nangis sgt actually.but i did cry for the humiliation i felt. bfore this, akak solat hajat sbenarnya.and probly this is the answer to my prayer.but im an optimist person.and i will remain so. I trust that Allah has a much greater plan..biarlah dorg nak main game ni.i lost my interest..in both of them.Dont cry..maybe sometimes somewhere in our life, we will experience thing like this..
huh!but u are very nice...Surely, his damning attitude is not something new.....ak tak paham naper korang pmpuan ni still nk org cmnih..hati2 kalo nk prcaya kt sesaper pasni ek..take care byk2..
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