Sweet busybody;o)

Today is much better.i have one class in the morning.and one the afternoon.somehow being in class is preferrable-it is a sort of escapism.and also because i like teaching.somehow i like it now more than ever.half of time in the morning i spent doing revision for my classes.other time,i spent flipping through materials to be put in the new module.and another time is spent listening to someone babbled about me.yesterday i went out earlier because it happened that my friend need to go to the hospital.she was not feeling ok,and he husband was away.so she asked me to accompany her.and my close friend was so kind to discuss my whereabout with him..and today he babbled about-next time if someone asked for help,asked them to come over to me.not me going over to them..yesterday,my friend told me that he said that -im bodoh-which i thought-never mind,he can call me any name he wanted,it doesnt matter.and this morning,he said he didnt say that-he said im lurus bendul.huhu.whatever.my friend insisted that the way he said those things,it showed how much he cared about me.im going to dismiss that point as not relevant.im sure he is going to make the same comment to everybody..so why bother?on another thought,i have gone a little out of my way than necessary for coming before 4.3opm.as it turned out she took almost one hour to get ready..so i rushed for nothing actually.so i thanked him this morning because i knew i shouldnt leave the office before time unless it is completely necessary to do that.thanked him for being a real busybody for me.:0)

Choices

Thoughtful mode...... My brother once asked me-which one come first.making a choice or getting what you want.i answered readily-of course getting what we want..he answered me-no,we have to choose first because seldom we will get what we want.often we have to choose from available options.it was a revelation for me.there and then i realised that i have never,once,in my life,having to choose from available options.i usually get what i want..so i answered that i dont know how it feels to have to make a choice.a simple discussion that led me to reflect my life.....my cousin is a very average guy.he didnt quite finish school,he do all menial jobs and always is the subject of ridicule in their family.but he is kind hearted,he treats his parents good,generous,diligence and full of sense of humor.all of a sudden,he met with this girl who works as a teacher-and this girl proposed to him..i dont know much about this girl,as we havent meet yet.but i think both of them get the best of each other..and me,i have always been among the lucky one.i usually get the best out of life-everything is going on perfectly-with no reason to complain.but when it comes to relationship,i almost always get mixed up with wrong people,which always ended up in lots of misery than necessary...so,my point is there are people who do not always get what they want,but they get the best thing eventually.while some who always get what they want,would lost the one thing that they want the most..thank you Allah for making see the justice in every event of my life.there's no reason to mourn over a thing/person that you dont get when you are already blessed with so many other wonderful things in life. God alone knows what's in store for you in the future..if you dont get the one thing that you want the most,then you must make a conscious decision to choose a path to go..so that you can choose the best from the available options. Thank you Allah for making me see wisdoms in everywhere i turn..

after the storm

I can say that this is not the most restful of my weekend,but i did rest-i sleep a lot more than i normally do,i cooked,watched tv,had girlish chat with my friends,rearranged my cupboard-i arranged my clothes according to a certain arrangement and cleaned my refrigerator-actually more of stocking up..i felt quite calm actually after my outburst.maybe my negative aura had dried out with all the sweat.great.when my brother broke off with his girlfriend,he did the same.infact,he was the one that told me-working out the negative energy by doing things that require lots of physical energy and mental concentration are the best anti depressant..so true.im much more calmer..when he broke off with his girlfriend,he went around cleaning the house,clearing the surrounding of my father's durian tree and chopping off banana tree-and he was calmer after that..brilliant and positive way to stay sane,i would say..but actually my stress level had decreased since friday.i went to a dancing course on friday:0) i hadnt been really dancing for years.the last time was in form 3.life was really wild back then.i was a carefree young girl before the depression of growing up made me a cynic.and it took me years to be as i am now..thanks to all the books i read.but that was beside the point. I went to this senam tari kenyalang,and danced a combination of dances.from malay,the pribumi's traditional dances,chinese and indian dances.i was actually having tremendous fun. I understand,first and foremost,this dance was created to replace poco-poco,but heck,who cares?i was dancing to the tune and was enjoying every minute.the steps were beautiful,artful and enjoyable.i was laughing halfway through.very glad i went actually.very very very very.:o)...what else did i do?i went and check my lesen L-im going to get it in a forthnight..which mean,i might get my driving licence by the end of this year.;o)..it means my 2 major goals for this year are already well on the way of completion.insya allah..:0)...Therefore,monday is going to be great.:o)

I dont discriminate,i hate all!

Sick,tired,bored,exhausted,despised,irate,disgusted.Not a very good emotions,arent they?these are my feeling.loads of toxic feeling.but who's to blame?my environment is extremely loaded with negative aura.people are in their worst behaviour and others just couldnt be bother.i zoned out almost all the time because it bogged me down emotionally.i hate small talks and despise people.great!now im judgmental,prejudice,narrowminded and full of the F words.oh yes,all my dearest,u are about to witness my dark side.see whether u can stand it.since my good nature is a humor to you.Enjoy!!!

Endless day

What a day of boredoom and torture..i have no class on monday,and the day is streching ahead.i rather be in class,doing something than doing nothing with nobody around to talk to..ironically,tonite im on duty,my first duty in the kamsis..i guess,i'll just have to pretend that im batman..huhu.working when the day becomes night time..and about the same time,i have to run to the hall,mc practice again..i have to be at the kamsis,and later on head off to the main hall..now,at this moment,i dont have the heart to be anywhere..grown lethargic by non activity,but hey..i kinda like the planning for tonite..and i didnt actually loiter around in the office today,i have completed my students' name list and pb.so,on second thought,there's nothing to complaint about.today is infact very progressive.hehe.i kinda catch up some blues today,but i rather that it stayed hidden in my heart.end of discussion.

Comrades..Almost a Love Story

Finally,one chapter of my life is officially closed.im just relieved it is finally over.at least,i dont have to keep wondering about the possibilities.as it was over for good.this time atleast,hopefully,nobody lost.it's a win win situation.i wont deny my feeling for this certain someone would remain.i have no regret that it didnt work out ok. My conscience is clear.i will always pray for him,his happiness and that he gets the best life may offer to him.he was afterall,once a very dear friend of mine..you wont always get all the things you want.but it doesnt matter.what matter is you had gone through that time and come out with lessons that enrich your life in one way or another.the best thing to do is to move on to the next phase of life,proudly and with head held high.:o)..i'll let go this time with a realisation that i like him so much,and liking him that much,im ready to let him go for the thing he love most.it is good enough for me to see that he is happier that way..while i will start my own new chapter with someone that i begin to like day after day...:o)..i still am not sure whether u like me that much,my friend,but sensing that u do..(probably im wrong) is good enough for me to last the entire lifetime..when i say goodbye,it really means goodbye this time.and with that,let's move on and keep the memory folded forever at the back of our mind..goodbye and take good care of yourself,love.:o)

Summarising summary

one week is almost out...and i can say i have settled almost all of my workloads.

New subjects to teach and a convocation around the corner.

i can proudly say that i started in full force this semester. i have started with semster one..started working on the students being more communicative.And i can concentrate more on teaching-meaning i used up the time allocated for the class better this time around..:o)Well, for me it is a motivation to keep on giving "star Quality" to what i am doing..well,i promise to be better-and i working towards being better.

My sister suddenly told me she wanted to change course to DSK-to the fury of my mum.She said she lost interest..So i went around and asked what can be done for her.. Luckily it is possible,so we are waiting for the good news in this coming forthnight. Sometimes, young people preferred to try everything out rather than making one good decision for a lifetime..and regret it later..all i can say is that, one is entitle to do that at least once in a lifetime..i guess, we couldnt probably call it a mistake..rather indecisiveness..

Im still looking here and there for materials to be given to my students. i dont dont why, but it seems that this semester im feeling a positive aura everywhere i go..

i try not to engage too much on activities that i dont particularly interested in, so as to keep my focus..and again,im working on it.As it turns out, i just agreed on being a judge for pertandingan mewarna kanak-kanak, and penyebut nama graduan for convocation...if it is not commiting to more than i should, i dont know what it is..

and iam also a warden..yeay...it means the addition in pay only..hehehe