Raining cats and dogs.
I feel relieved that the Surveillance Audit is done. Though the result is pretty much similar with the last, but at least some of the process we managed to clean up. For example P&P. I am a person with low expectation o things, but i guess i didnt do it whole heartedly. i did what i can. and alone. Given the fact that i didn't really have the help i needed, then one NC and 5 OFI is good for me. Alhamdulillah. definitely a point to be thankful for. To quote the auditor: it has improved.
My brother got accepted for Kolej Kesihatan Awam, meaning that he would undergo a training for two years, and in sha Allah be working by 2015. Alhamdulillah, another point to be thankful. At least, we are not the rich kids who live on mummy and daddy's wealth. Anymore. Some of our cousins and relatives always refer to us as that. It doesn't matter. They just don't need to know our story. It's for us to know. At least, mummy and daddy are happy that they wont have to worry about our future anymore. Alhamdulillah.
A bunch of friends asked me to go out and eat in the evening. I didn't go. i just dont feel like going out and laugh out loud with people who might not understand my feeling, and continue as if it doesn't matter. After all the mental exhaustion, i dont feel like discussing anything. i don't like listening to people commenting on this and that, being here and there while they actually just want to show me how much they dont know. it is no fun feeling irritated.i m just not in the mood to entertain ignorance of fact.. i don't know. maybe i'm bored of the fact that people like to spice things up according to their preferences. i just need to be alone. Some time alone to be normal again.
i'm tired. of people.at the moment.
Jan 18, 2013
Jan 13, 2013
No. There's no life after you.
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
But, to still be with you and throw responsibility out? No i can't. and yes, i don't regret it.
Jan 10, 2013
Throwing my pen across the room
Anyway, the word for today is delaying gratification- a financial related term referring to how you put off from making any financial decision until it is economically profitable for you. In a laymen's term, you postponed something in order to get more satisfaction. Nice term . i was amused to think that these people are going to have lots of problem learning financial management from a lite grad like me. i am too much of a thinker to see it from a more practical side.. hahaha. I mean, who cares? it is after all a term. Dont start giving lengthy definition on it AJ. Funny!
Soft skills is a very interesting subject. though at the moment, because of my other commitment, i couldnt really give input to it. But i coped well. Presentation and group discussion? that, i would say is my forte. commenting and getting involved in the ideas presented by my students. Give them the opportunity to enjoy it. Discussing ideas and watching, as their creativeness come to life. Such an interesting ventures
it started off quite innocent for my Communicative Class. Suddenly when one group presented about marrying in an early age, there it changed into a heated discussion. At the end of the discussion, they even requested for a debate in class. I quite love the experiment. One of my students saying the phrase "you cant", or "it shouldn't" too many time. Maybe that's they way it was drilled into her head. She seemed to dislike the phrase "open minded". So i said, that being open minded is not negative. it doesn't mean that you dont care about anything. It only mean that you understand more. And there's one student who keeps on insisting that everything is fated. One cant run away from it. most of the students believe that you are the one who choose for everything. i quite like the discussion, in short. very refreshing.
Too many sharks in "attack" mood today. This i would termed as: people who looked like they have good intention, but are actually trying to pull your legs in a very sneaky way. Busuk hati. Im not surprised though. i'm amused. so predictable. I do have lots of anger but i knew that it's not worth an ounce. So instead, i pray that one of these days they get to walk in my shoes and experience the fun. Im not a punching bag, and i would never be one for anybody anymore.
i want so much to ask Pak Abu for breakfast today, but i didnt have the courage to even ask. So i didn't.
I pray that everything turns out well for the Surveillance Audit next week. Insya Allah.
Soft skills is a very interesting subject. though at the moment, because of my other commitment, i couldnt really give input to it. But i coped well. Presentation and group discussion? that, i would say is my forte. commenting and getting involved in the ideas presented by my students. Give them the opportunity to enjoy it. Discussing ideas and watching, as their creativeness come to life. Such an interesting ventures
it started off quite innocent for my Communicative Class. Suddenly when one group presented about marrying in an early age, there it changed into a heated discussion. At the end of the discussion, they even requested for a debate in class. I quite love the experiment. One of my students saying the phrase "you cant", or "it shouldn't" too many time. Maybe that's they way it was drilled into her head. She seemed to dislike the phrase "open minded". So i said, that being open minded is not negative. it doesn't mean that you dont care about anything. It only mean that you understand more. And there's one student who keeps on insisting that everything is fated. One cant run away from it. most of the students believe that you are the one who choose for everything. i quite like the discussion, in short. very refreshing.
Too many sharks in "attack" mood today. This i would termed as: people who looked like they have good intention, but are actually trying to pull your legs in a very sneaky way. Busuk hati. Im not surprised though. i'm amused. so predictable. I do have lots of anger but i knew that it's not worth an ounce. So instead, i pray that one of these days they get to walk in my shoes and experience the fun. Im not a punching bag, and i would never be one for anybody anymore.
i want so much to ask Pak Abu for breakfast today, but i didnt have the courage to even ask. So i didn't.
I pray that everything turns out well for the Surveillance Audit next week. Insya Allah.
Jan 8, 2013
Danger
I know that what im doing is dangerous to my peace of mind. But still im doing it again. i shouldn't. Too much to ask.
Jan 7, 2013
It's just Monday but..
Too many things to do. Although this is nothing new to me, but it is harder when it is involving other people.
I have three class today. one in 7.30 and then in 11.30, and another one in the afternoon. Thankful that classes were filled with activities. So i can afford to have a little quiet time while waiting for them to finish up with discussion, as well as watching them do presentation. i really hope that what i did was enjoyable to them. i was impatience most of the time. thinking about letters to send, letters to write out. documents to check, and ensuring that everything turns out just as it was supposed to be. i have to admit that i'm not a wonder woman. couldn't possibly do everything all at once. So tomorrow, i'm going to spend some of my time actually doing other things that i havent got the time doing today. The nerve wrecked i am. learn to breath out and breath in AJ. Be careful. it's better if it is done properly the first time, then have to do one things repeatedly.
I planned to go jogging today. Instead i went out with my friend. Eating! and i am getting Fat! Terribly Stressful. I have always been this slim and thin girl. so, when i realised that im getting bigger..Oh Dear! the Stress. My new strategy is including eating lots of fruits and water. less on the sugar. Just when i am getting comfortable a friend asked me for a night out, eat again. and there goes the diet. down the drain. The trouble is my body seemed to retain all the water from the fruit. My diet must be too much salt. I have to cut on eating out. Have to cut on crackers. i have to cut on rice. But mostly, i should try exercising! My brother said that, it must have come from the physical works i used to do and stop. so therefore, it is the muscle thickening. speaking from a point of view as an athlete. But he is a rugger. Rugby player are usually tough and big right. I dont want to be tough and big. And he said, quite sympathetically: sis, you're not fat. you are just fine. And i still dont believe him.
Pending: i have notes to prepare for my Finance class, and 6 essay questions to submit to my superior. and a SIRIM surveillance Audit on Monday.
My life couldn't get any better.
I have three class today. one in 7.30 and then in 11.30, and another one in the afternoon. Thankful that classes were filled with activities. So i can afford to have a little quiet time while waiting for them to finish up with discussion, as well as watching them do presentation. i really hope that what i did was enjoyable to them. i was impatience most of the time. thinking about letters to send, letters to write out. documents to check, and ensuring that everything turns out just as it was supposed to be. i have to admit that i'm not a wonder woman. couldn't possibly do everything all at once. So tomorrow, i'm going to spend some of my time actually doing other things that i havent got the time doing today. The nerve wrecked i am. learn to breath out and breath in AJ. Be careful. it's better if it is done properly the first time, then have to do one things repeatedly.
I planned to go jogging today. Instead i went out with my friend. Eating! and i am getting Fat! Terribly Stressful. I have always been this slim and thin girl. so, when i realised that im getting bigger..Oh Dear! the Stress. My new strategy is including eating lots of fruits and water. less on the sugar. Just when i am getting comfortable a friend asked me for a night out, eat again. and there goes the diet. down the drain. The trouble is my body seemed to retain all the water from the fruit. My diet must be too much salt. I have to cut on eating out. Have to cut on crackers. i have to cut on rice. But mostly, i should try exercising! My brother said that, it must have come from the physical works i used to do and stop. so therefore, it is the muscle thickening. speaking from a point of view as an athlete. But he is a rugger. Rugby player are usually tough and big right. I dont want to be tough and big. And he said, quite sympathetically: sis, you're not fat. you are just fine. And i still dont believe him.
Pending: i have notes to prepare for my Finance class, and 6 essay questions to submit to my superior. and a SIRIM surveillance Audit on Monday.
My life couldn't get any better.
Jan 5, 2013
Anna and The King
So a friend of mine, who is amazed that i'm still single to this day suddenly said: so Ana, where's The King?
and i said "on the way?". Funny but that has become FAQ nowadays. i couldn't be bother. i have already run out of answer. :)
By the way, watched Maria Eleena's reception on TV. Thinking that, after Lisa Surihani, i would say that this was the second time that i am really excited about planning a wedding. the tradition, the dressing up, the ornament, the event. Everything is so beautiful. I think it is an interesting business venture, but then i have to have the skills. Planning a wedding is a creative venture- one that cant be too technical. it is the affair of the heart, which is why it is very appealing. Just because i love wedding, doesn't mean that i can open up a business right?After all business is all about the strategy.
For me, I am thinking of having a simple wedding.Or maybe a quiet affair, but with all the traditions? yes, yes. i want a wedding like that.
So, the next bucket list should be effective from now on: finding the king...or is it identifying? Hahaha, this is not building on exam question. This is life, my dear..
Insya Allah :)
and i said "on the way?". Funny but that has become FAQ nowadays. i couldn't be bother. i have already run out of answer. :)
By the way, watched Maria Eleena's reception on TV. Thinking that, after Lisa Surihani, i would say that this was the second time that i am really excited about planning a wedding. the tradition, the dressing up, the ornament, the event. Everything is so beautiful. I think it is an interesting business venture, but then i have to have the skills. Planning a wedding is a creative venture- one that cant be too technical. it is the affair of the heart, which is why it is very appealing. Just because i love wedding, doesn't mean that i can open up a business right?After all business is all about the strategy.
For me, I am thinking of having a simple wedding.Or maybe a quiet affair, but with all the traditions? yes, yes. i want a wedding like that.
So, the next bucket list should be effective from now on: finding the king...or is it identifying? Hahaha, this is not building on exam question. This is life, my dear..
Insya Allah :)
Jan 3, 2013
Mad World
Madness. The first few days of the new year are plain madness. Many things to get my hands on. Madness as a result of uncertainties, unsure and too many loose ends need to be tightened. Though, everything seemed to be well under control, but there's a moment in the early morning hour, when the alarm ticked off, that i dont want to go out and face the world at all. such tiredness that it made me impatient, and moody. How do i fare as of today? well, my mantra is when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
I'm not at all in good mood. At least, when i tried to be understanding of other people plight and woe, i would expect them to at least be there for me when i need them. This job is not easy, being the head. I just have to take care of everything. It hurts really when people take their responsibility for granted. i really am angry today. Instead of being there to help, they just disappear and leave me alone to handle their fair share of the responsibility. I mean, come on people! i do have classes and other things to do. if you dont want the bigger part, at least do yours. Im so stressful. i hate to spend time with my friends when im stressful. i will be the most annoying person. Perhaps, i have to learn to say NO. Yes, i have to learn that word.
As much as i want everything to work out just fine, and despite my positive outlook, this is one of the many points in my life when i think that everything is IMPOSSIBLE to do or to happen.
I'm not at all in good mood. At least, when i tried to be understanding of other people plight and woe, i would expect them to at least be there for me when i need them. This job is not easy, being the head. I just have to take care of everything. It hurts really when people take their responsibility for granted. i really am angry today. Instead of being there to help, they just disappear and leave me alone to handle their fair share of the responsibility. I mean, come on people! i do have classes and other things to do. if you dont want the bigger part, at least do yours. Im so stressful. i hate to spend time with my friends when im stressful. i will be the most annoying person. Perhaps, i have to learn to say NO. Yes, i have to learn that word.
As much as i want everything to work out just fine, and despite my positive outlook, this is one of the many points in my life when i think that everything is IMPOSSIBLE to do or to happen.
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