Seeking for my normal self. alone.

Raining cats and dogs.

I feel relieved that the Surveillance Audit is done. Though the result is pretty much similar with the last, but at least some of the process we managed to clean up. For example P&P. I am a person with low expectation o things, but i guess i didnt do it whole heartedly. i did what i can. and alone. Given the fact that i didn't really have the help i needed, then one NC and 5 OFI is good for me. Alhamdulillah. definitely a point to be thankful for. To quote the auditor: it has improved.

My brother got accepted for Kolej Kesihatan Awam, meaning that he would undergo a training for two years, and in sha Allah be working by 2015. Alhamdulillah, another point to be thankful.  At least, we are not the rich kids who live on mummy and daddy's wealth. Anymore. Some of our cousins and relatives always refer to us as that. It doesn't matter. They just don't need to know our story. It's for us to know. At least, mummy and daddy are happy that they wont have to worry about our future anymore. Alhamdulillah.

A bunch of friends asked me to go out and eat in the evening. I  didn't go. i just dont feel like going out and laugh out loud with people who might not understand my feeling, and continue  as if it doesn't matter. After all the mental exhaustion, i dont feel like discussing anything. i don't like listening to people commenting on this and that, being here and there while they actually just want to show me how much they dont know. it is no fun feeling irritated.i m just not in the mood to entertain ignorance of fact.. i don't know. maybe i'm bored of the fact that people like to spice things up according to their preferences.  i just need to be alone. Some time alone to be normal again.

i'm tired. of people.at the moment.