queer..

today, i went home feeling a little tired. Tired because i couldnt sleep soundly in the night, tired of the journey home from work, and tired seeing the house with almost everything was put everywhere. when i reached home, i was alone..
earlier today, i followed kak Qam to CIMB-UMS. While waiting for her outside the building, i saw a husband and his wife..they were walking hand in hand, the wife was pregnant..i dont know but the way she walk reminded me of "orang yang tidak bermaya"..the kind of helplessness that makes me want to walk away and run..huhu
i really feel terrified by what i see. a helplessness that makes u lost your independence to other people?!!oh, no!
The way i see it- as if the wife cant do anything without the help of her husband-the way she walk as if she couldnt walk without the help of her husband.and as if whatever she do she must ask her husband whether it's correct or not..woah,enough to make me shiver!!?the way she looked at her husband with smiling eyes full of hope..menakutkan..
my problem is that..i dont want to be in the situation where i lost my independence because i have someone to care for me..i dont like the dependency i see when i look at the wife.all i can see in the act is helplessness..
and helplessness is a weakness to me..