when does it changes,
from one point to another?
how does it feel,
when you start falling
and stumble all over the place?
why it becomes hurtful
when you realise what you cant understand?
what can be said,
for a deeper feeling
that will be wasted, untold?
why it is so uncomfortable
when you understand it
but cant tell a soul about it?
who can understand
when you love it
but no one can tell how you feel?
what should i say
when i feel it,
but cant make others feel the same?
May 28, 2009
May 27, 2009
tak bersemangatnya
students dah start cuti..tapi rasa bosan
balik cuti mgu depan tapi tetap rasa tak semnagat.
Ahli Kimia kawen 29 mei, and tidak rasa apa-apa pun.
perjlnnan ke melaka yang best-tetap rasa bosan
tak bersemangat nya...
balik cuti mgu depan tapi tetap rasa tak semnagat.
Ahli Kimia kawen 29 mei, and tidak rasa apa-apa pun.
perjlnnan ke melaka yang best-tetap rasa bosan
tak bersemangat nya...
May 26, 2009
my gentleman from Porlock
there is one particular person in my mind..and the reason for all the confusion in my life lately..one person-the gentleman from Porlock.terribly miss him.so much.desperately..and it hurt.ouch
an e-mel from a friend
Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two
小心讀每一個，再用一兩秒想一想
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界。
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要花時間在一個不會花時間在你身上的人。
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，讓我們遇到那位對先生/對小姐時懂得珍惜。
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因為完結而哭，要為曾經發生而微笑。
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
這個世界永遠也會有一些傷害你的人，你要做的就是繼續去信人和小心你下次信的人。
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要太努力去找，最好的東西是在你最預計不到的時候出現。
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
緊記: 所有事也是因果循環的。
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?
真正朋友: 有幾多人有八位真正的朋友?
Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!
我幾乎不認識這些人! 但在我們當中有些人全有對和好的朋友!!!
,-._,-.
\/)'(\/
(_o_)
Being happy is the priority of living,
If u wanna be sad,
Be sad 4 something thats worth it.
珍惜你所擁有的，慶幸所曾發生的。
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
in the middle of deleting old mails in my emel when i stumbled on this one..
小心讀每一個，再用一兩秒想一想
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界。
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要花時間在一個不會花時間在你身上的人。
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
可能神要我們在遇到那位對的人之前先遇上一些錯的人，讓我們遇到那位對先生/對小姐時懂得珍惜。
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因為完結而哭，要為曾經發生而微笑。
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
這個世界永遠也會有一些傷害你的人，你要做的就是繼續去信人和小心你下次信的人。
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要太努力去找，最好的東西是在你最預計不到的時候出現。
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
緊記: 所有事也是因果循環的。
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?
真正朋友: 有幾多人有八位真正的朋友?
Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!
我幾乎不認識這些人! 但在我們當中有些人全有對和好的朋友!!!
,-._,-.
\/)'(\/
(_o_)
Being happy is the priority of living,
If u wanna be sad,
Be sad 4 something thats worth it.
珍惜你所擁有的，慶幸所曾發生的。
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
in the middle of deleting old mails in my emel when i stumbled on this one..
May 25, 2009
kebetulan yang bagaimana ini?
bagaimana untuk mentafsir kebetulan-kebetulan yang tiba2 kebetulan terjadi pada masa kita kebetulan terfikirkan benda atau orang itu? saya ini orang yang tidak mampu mentafsirkan sign2 halus.sebenarnya bukan tidak mampu tapi tak mahu.bimbang tersalah tafsir atau telebih tafsir..akhirnya bak lagu Jac Victor-akhirnya nanti kecewa..not ready to feel that emotion yet..
tapi bagaimana?harus buat apa bila ia berlaku?apa maknanya?
very weird coincidence.
a)bila tiba2 terlintas dia akan ada di satu tempat pada masa2 tertentu..and dia memang muncul atau ada.
b)bila tiba2 rasa macam akan terjumpa dia di mana-mana.dan memang akan
c)bila terfikir/suka jenis kereta dengan warna-warna tertentu-tiba2 kereta dia warna itu.
d)bila sudah berada jauh dari dia untuk satu tempoh masa yang lama..tiba2 first thing jumpa selepas balik adalah dia
e)bila tiba2 orang2 yang di sekeliling kita adalah diri dia dan hidup dia(cthny pekerjaan dia dan kawan-kawan dia)
f)dan bila dia suka mengulang pesanan yang sama dua kali-tanpa reason yang dapat di digest akal-pelik!
g)dan bila dia panggil kita dengan nama lain yg biasanya org lain tak panggil.dan org lain pun ikut panggil nama itu..
h)dan bila dia jadi sesuatu yang kita senangi tapi at the same time sesuatu yang confusing but sweet confusion..
begitukah rasanya falling into something?
tapi bagaimana?harus buat apa bila ia berlaku?apa maknanya?
very weird coincidence.
a)bila tiba2 terlintas dia akan ada di satu tempat pada masa2 tertentu..and dia memang muncul atau ada.
b)bila tiba2 rasa macam akan terjumpa dia di mana-mana.dan memang akan
c)bila terfikir/suka jenis kereta dengan warna-warna tertentu-tiba2 kereta dia warna itu.
d)bila sudah berada jauh dari dia untuk satu tempoh masa yang lama..tiba2 first thing jumpa selepas balik adalah dia
e)bila tiba2 orang2 yang di sekeliling kita adalah diri dia dan hidup dia(cthny pekerjaan dia dan kawan-kawan dia)
f)dan bila dia suka mengulang pesanan yang sama dua kali-tanpa reason yang dapat di digest akal-pelik!
g)dan bila dia panggil kita dengan nama lain yg biasanya org lain tak panggil.dan org lain pun ikut panggil nama itu..
h)dan bila dia jadi sesuatu yang kita senangi tapi at the same time sesuatu yang confusing but sweet confusion..
begitukah rasanya falling into something?
May 15, 2009
on Love
i think i mentioned about Rumi's poem which DR.F mentioned in her blog.i dont want to rewrite it because the meaning wont be the same.so i just copy and paste ja..this one is taken directly from Dr.F's entry titled "of Hijjas Kasturi,Rumi and Love"
Zikrgoo said people fall in love instead of walking into love (if in control). I love that difference.Fall vs walk.Walking into love is like with your eyes open, yah? Falling means your eyes are close and you are so 'ngok' to fall. :))
i cant agree with Dr.F about being a "ngok".because all is fair in love and war..
hehehe.
Zikrgoo said people fall in love instead of walking into love (if in control). I love that difference.Fall vs walk.Walking into love is like with your eyes open, yah? Falling means your eyes are close and you are so 'ngok' to fall. :))
i cant agree with Dr.F about being a "ngok".because all is fair in love and war..
hehehe.
May 14, 2009
chauvinist
apa yg buat sy marah:
semalam adalah hari yg betul2 membengangkan.sy sangat benci orang kaki buli.in fact, i almost lose my cool.menyampah n marah-cuma tidak mengamuk saja.
patutkah sy buat sesuatu benda untuk orang lain yang tidak buat apa-apa time pertolongan tersebut di minta?apa salahnya buat sendiri kerja-kerja yang tidak sampai beberapa minit pun buat.
semalam-pagi-ada exam kelas DPm n afterwards sy check kertas..bukan satu kertas malah ada dua kertas yang tidak sempat tanda sebab ikut Intan-my housemate pegi minum2 dgn kwn2 dia time malam..if that was not a source of stress, the PB and PMIS are.tengah2 key-in..tiba2 server down..dengan budak yang tidak masuk kelas n markah yang tidak di perolehi daripada pensyarah asal..
dengan jabatan yang panas-n aircond belum ok lagi..
and suddenly ada pula orang yang rasa "cool"untuk bergurau bodoh, despite of everything..
memang rasa macam mau baling kepala orang tu dengan apa saja benda yang boleh mengakibatkan dia bengong sat.and rasa macam mau marah time tu juga.nasib baik rasional mind melarang..jika tidak pasti dia tu akan kehilangan kawan bergurau hari ni..
paling benci sekali gurauan yang cuba2 imply bahawa perempuan ni(especially me in this case)adalah makhluk lemah yang tidak mampu buat sesuatu yang sehebat lelaki.and weak.and always blur..it angers me more than anything in this world. baru kenal satu bulan then sudah pandai2 judge orang lain..so chauvinistic-selesa kah jadi kawan nanti kalau semua menyakitkan hati? hairan kenapa he does everything possible to make me tersinggung n marah..entah apa yang dia tak puas hati.what have i done?
i dont feel like saying anything to him today..and i think it changes many things between us
semalam adalah hari yg betul2 membengangkan.sy sangat benci orang kaki buli.in fact, i almost lose my cool.menyampah n marah-cuma tidak mengamuk saja.
patutkah sy buat sesuatu benda untuk orang lain yang tidak buat apa-apa time pertolongan tersebut di minta?apa salahnya buat sendiri kerja-kerja yang tidak sampai beberapa minit pun buat.
semalam-pagi-ada exam kelas DPm n afterwards sy check kertas..bukan satu kertas malah ada dua kertas yang tidak sempat tanda sebab ikut Intan-my housemate pegi minum2 dgn kwn2 dia time malam..if that was not a source of stress, the PB and PMIS are.tengah2 key-in..tiba2 server down..dengan budak yang tidak masuk kelas n markah yang tidak di perolehi daripada pensyarah asal..
dengan jabatan yang panas-n aircond belum ok lagi..
and suddenly ada pula orang yang rasa "cool"untuk bergurau bodoh, despite of everything..
memang rasa macam mau baling kepala orang tu dengan apa saja benda yang boleh mengakibatkan dia bengong sat.and rasa macam mau marah time tu juga.nasib baik rasional mind melarang..jika tidak pasti dia tu akan kehilangan kawan bergurau hari ni..
paling benci sekali gurauan yang cuba2 imply bahawa perempuan ni(especially me in this case)adalah makhluk lemah yang tidak mampu buat sesuatu yang sehebat lelaki.and weak.and always blur..it angers me more than anything in this world. baru kenal satu bulan then sudah pandai2 judge orang lain..so chauvinistic-selesa kah jadi kawan nanti kalau semua menyakitkan hati? hairan kenapa he does everything possible to make me tersinggung n marah..entah apa yang dia tak puas hati.what have i done?
i dont feel like saying anything to him today..and i think it changes many things between us
May 8, 2009
salah ke kalau i single?
that becomes a very pressing question lately. people are asking and talking about being in a relationship and marriage.but to tell the truth it never sounds appealing to me.
and what a handicap being single is..because:
a)people keep asking and become curious of your status.
b)there is many possibilities that u will be very close with one or two male friend in the office which spurs gossip
c)close relation with a male friend will frighten and overwhelm u because if he is single the possibility that u two flirt with one another is immense..and when u flirt with one another, u will make everything(professional-wise)uncomfortable.
d)all the male in the office..whose girlfriends are far away act like u r their girlfriend which is actually really troublesome
f)the officemate will gossip anyone who is single and available-who happens to stop by at the office with you..and it becomes really embarrasing.
g)gangguan nakal berunsur sexual..by gangguan sexual bermaksud perbuatan memandang dengan liar di tempat2 tertentu, atau Flirt Text Message x-rated and perbuatan sengaja menyebabkan tangan/jari/kaki menyentuh orang lain..huhu
huhu..although, they all are just joking but sometimes it becomes too much and u become uncomfortable.
my problem now is i become too close with my male colleague-and we go out for lunch twice already.we'r both responsible adult and know the consequence of whatever it is that we do.walaupun kami tidaklah buat benda-benda yang menjolok mata..NO Such Thing.but we flirt incessantly.we r both single.and no body would care about it.
but suddenly he becomes very fond of flirting x-ratedly..i dont know whether he was joking or really means it..but suddenly i feel very threaten,afraid and of course i freak out.i feel really really really uncomfortable..
yesterday when we went out..coincidently, it was office break.so he planned to stop by at his house for a sleep..and i insist that he leave me at any bustop along the way..luckily, he cancelled his plan and we went straight back to the office.he is angry because i asked him to leave me anywhere for bus.
the conversation goes..
him:napa u nk turun kat mana2.i tak suruh pun u naik bas.
me : memangla.u nk balik tidur nanti i nk buat apa?
him: ei, rumah i besar la.u tengok tv kat bawah i tdo lah kt atas
me :xde..i just want to make sure that im safe.
him:(frustrated)aku penatla..aku xde energy nak buat benda lain..smlm i tdo pkl 4 tau.tgk game dengan kwn2 i.
me :(LOL..for a long time.and continuously..all the way..lucu dengar jawapan dia.)
him:(look at me dengan pandangan yg sukar nk mengerti..sebab i mengarut..hahaha)
him: safe,safe..i rantai u karang..
im still laughing, continuously until we reach the office.
later that night he said that i should trust my safety when im with him..because he will not do anything that in any way harmed me.or anything that im not willing to do ...the problem is, he was speaking as if we have the inclination to do something stupid that we will both regret afterward.and i said that if he attempt to do anything that close enough to that, he will stand to lose me..i hope that is ultimatum enough for him.
at this point, im half hoping that im in a relationship, so there is someone/something that can protect me from gangguan-gangguan yang begitu.then,i will not have too much freedom of doing anything i want.
but then again, adakah orang nk i?and ada tak i nk kat orang pula?
and then again..salah ke klu i single?
*seperti yand di discuss bersama my housemate cik anggun.tulisan ini bercampur baur dengan pengalaman cik anggun,diriku dan kawan-kawan.harap maklum.:o)
and what a handicap being single is..because:
a)people keep asking and become curious of your status.
b)there is many possibilities that u will be very close with one or two male friend in the office which spurs gossip
c)close relation with a male friend will frighten and overwhelm u because if he is single the possibility that u two flirt with one another is immense..and when u flirt with one another, u will make everything(professional-wise)uncomfortable.
d)all the male in the office..whose girlfriends are far away act like u r their girlfriend which is actually really troublesome
f)the officemate will gossip anyone who is single and available-who happens to stop by at the office with you..and it becomes really embarrasing.
g)gangguan nakal berunsur sexual..by gangguan sexual bermaksud perbuatan memandang dengan liar di tempat2 tertentu, atau Flirt Text Message x-rated and perbuatan sengaja menyebabkan tangan/jari/kaki menyentuh orang lain..huhu
huhu..although, they all are just joking but sometimes it becomes too much and u become uncomfortable.
my problem now is i become too close with my male colleague-and we go out for lunch twice already.we'r both responsible adult and know the consequence of whatever it is that we do.walaupun kami tidaklah buat benda-benda yang menjolok mata..NO Such Thing.but we flirt incessantly.we r both single.and no body would care about it.
but suddenly he becomes very fond of flirting x-ratedly..i dont know whether he was joking or really means it..but suddenly i feel very threaten,afraid and of course i freak out.i feel really really really uncomfortable..
yesterday when we went out..coincidently, it was office break.so he planned to stop by at his house for a sleep..and i insist that he leave me at any bustop along the way..luckily, he cancelled his plan and we went straight back to the office.he is angry because i asked him to leave me anywhere for bus.
the conversation goes..
him:napa u nk turun kat mana2.i tak suruh pun u naik bas.
me : memangla.u nk balik tidur nanti i nk buat apa?
him: ei, rumah i besar la.u tengok tv kat bawah i tdo lah kt atas
me :xde..i just want to make sure that im safe.
him:(frustrated)aku penatla..aku xde energy nak buat benda lain..smlm i tdo pkl 4 tau.tgk game dengan kwn2 i.
me :(LOL..for a long time.and continuously..all the way..lucu dengar jawapan dia.)
him:(look at me dengan pandangan yg sukar nk mengerti..sebab i mengarut..hahaha)
him: safe,safe..i rantai u karang..
im still laughing, continuously until we reach the office.
later that night he said that i should trust my safety when im with him..because he will not do anything that in any way harmed me.or anything that im not willing to do ...the problem is, he was speaking as if we have the inclination to do something stupid that we will both regret afterward.and i said that if he attempt to do anything that close enough to that, he will stand to lose me..i hope that is ultimatum enough for him.
at this point, im half hoping that im in a relationship, so there is someone/something that can protect me from gangguan-gangguan yang begitu.then,i will not have too much freedom of doing anything i want.
but then again, adakah orang nk i?and ada tak i nk kat orang pula?
and then again..salah ke klu i single?
*seperti yand di discuss bersama my housemate cik anggun.tulisan ini bercampur baur dengan pengalaman cik anggun,diriku dan kawan-kawan.harap maklum.:o)
May 7, 2009
Pesta Sabah
What is Pesta Sabah?
Pesta Sabah is another given name to the Harvest festival,which i guess is invented to neutralise the effect of just including one or two races only.This way, people will not say that kaamatan is just for the kadazan/dusun or Murut only but for everybody and everyone that originates from sabah.Pesta Sabah is meant to celebrate the cultural diversity in Sabah especially.and kaamatan will not be celebrate by the kadazans but all people in Sabah..
Why should they change the name to Pesta Sabah?even for tourism purpose?
Pesta Kaamatan in itself carries a weight that enable it to attract people in its own right.Pesta kaamatan is an exclusive and unique celebration of sacrifice and gratitude. When they put together several celebration together with Kaamatan, it loses its meaning and although it will be celebrate as usual but the spirit would never be the same.
really..the G is so busy planning on unity and strengthening the ties between people.So busy organizing program that will put together people in one situation where everything feel out of place.Why can they let them merge naturally.let people of different race celebrate different celebration.dengan cara itu, kita boleh melihat tradisi tersebut dengan lebih jelas.tak perlu neutralise anything or tone down the effect of the cultural tradition..apa yang akan kita belajar dari tradisi orang lain sekiranya kita takut untuk tunjukkan wajah celebration tu yang sebenar?
kisahnya, macam hari rayalah.kalau kita kata raya is for everybody, perasaan raya yang sebenar tu tak ada sebab kita rasa it's more to perayaan biasa dan bukan sebagai satu perayaan yang sepatutnya.so, where is the uniqeness?apa yang boleh dipanggil sebagai lain dari yang lain sekiranya kita terlalu cuba neutralise everything?
teringat sambutan pesta kaamatan di UMS beberapa tahun lalu..it's completely lost its meaning to me because they all include budaya bangsa lain yang tak ada kena mengena dengan semnagat pesta kaamatan tersebut.and ini bukan soal tak mahu include orang lain..soalnya,kita mempertahankan sesuatu itu in its pure form so we get the real spirit of the celebration..whatever it is..
lagipun,what's wrong in saying that Pesta Kaamatan "dirayakan "oleh orang KadazanDusun dan Murut?In what way can it hurt other people?and other people tu bukankah ada perayaan mereka sendiri yang dibuat pada hari dan bulan tertentu?
Pesta Sabah is another given name to the Harvest festival,which i guess is invented to neutralise the effect of just including one or two races only.This way, people will not say that kaamatan is just for the kadazan/dusun or Murut only but for everybody and everyone that originates from sabah.Pesta Sabah is meant to celebrate the cultural diversity in Sabah especially.and kaamatan will not be celebrate by the kadazans but all people in Sabah..
Why should they change the name to Pesta Sabah?even for tourism purpose?
Pesta Kaamatan in itself carries a weight that enable it to attract people in its own right.Pesta kaamatan is an exclusive and unique celebration of sacrifice and gratitude. When they put together several celebration together with Kaamatan, it loses its meaning and although it will be celebrate as usual but the spirit would never be the same.
really..the G is so busy planning on unity and strengthening the ties between people.So busy organizing program that will put together people in one situation where everything feel out of place.Why can they let them merge naturally.let people of different race celebrate different celebration.dengan cara itu, kita boleh melihat tradisi tersebut dengan lebih jelas.tak perlu neutralise anything or tone down the effect of the cultural tradition..apa yang akan kita belajar dari tradisi orang lain sekiranya kita takut untuk tunjukkan wajah celebration tu yang sebenar?
kisahnya, macam hari rayalah.kalau kita kata raya is for everybody, perasaan raya yang sebenar tu tak ada sebab kita rasa it's more to perayaan biasa dan bukan sebagai satu perayaan yang sepatutnya.so, where is the uniqeness?apa yang boleh dipanggil sebagai lain dari yang lain sekiranya kita terlalu cuba neutralise everything?
teringat sambutan pesta kaamatan di UMS beberapa tahun lalu..it's completely lost its meaning to me because they all include budaya bangsa lain yang tak ada kena mengena dengan semnagat pesta kaamatan tersebut.and ini bukan soal tak mahu include orang lain..soalnya,kita mempertahankan sesuatu itu in its pure form so we get the real spirit of the celebration..whatever it is..
lagipun,what's wrong in saying that Pesta Kaamatan "dirayakan "oleh orang KadazanDusun dan Murut?In what way can it hurt other people?and other people tu bukankah ada perayaan mereka sendiri yang dibuat pada hari dan bulan tertentu?
May 6, 2009
lost
today is 'almost' a sad day.i broke my bestfriend..it was broken into pieces.i tried to find another expression that will convey my deepest feeling about the incident but i cant find anything more exxagerate than "broken into pieces". But however, it was really broken into pieces..in the real sense of the words.i gaped for 10 minutes not knowing whether to cry or just kept quiet.
i will buy another one!i will!
oh,the feeling of losing...
i will buy another one!i will!
oh,the feeling of losing...
May 5, 2009
yes-to-day
actually,it means yesterday and today..but im trying to create something that is different from everyday thing.so this word is what i came with...
start with yesterday
yesterday, i only have class in the morning.after that, i went to the pantry and stapled all the final test papers there.without disturbance..i really like sitting there because the aircond in the office has not been working properly since April.and the pantry is so cold..feel like moving my desk to that place forever..hehe
in the morning i was trying to use the paper cutter which i failed miserably at first..and all the boys in who were in the office at that time laughed at me.but later, they offered to help when i have already completed the task at hand..huhu.i like the good spirit.;o)
the one class i have in the morning is one of my favourite class..but some of them just cant be nice to me.i did feel tersinggung sikit.but that's what children do..act childishly almost all the time.biarlah habis di situ saja.malas mau panjang2 cerita.
but actually yesterday was an uncomfortable day.sebab ada orang terlebih bergurau..saya yg blur ni pun tidak faham whether this person bergurau OR dia memang betul-betul maksudkan apa yang dia cakap.so, dia tidak berani bertentang mata dengan saya.i wondered whether he was drunk at the time he said to me those things..or simply segan..tidak taulah.the reason why i spent the morning session at the pantry was because i dont want him or me to feel the tension.huhu
today,supposed to have 2 exams but one class rescheduled their exam to Thursday..budak-budak sekarang..bukan kita yang control dorg..they all have the power to control everything..budak2 bertuah betul.
and while i jaga my students from the other class..suddenly i got this weird feeling of empathy creeping in.rasa sayu n kesian. i look at my students and wonder what kind of life they are living?what kind of home they r having?what kind of people they have in their life?and are they happy..i dont know but something just trigger my train of thought towards it...it only makes me determine to improve my teachings.so they dont get boring, and feel that my class is a must-go class, one that makes them feel comfortable and enjoy learning..someone that they could trust,insyallah.
i think one of the problems with the youth in Poli Mukah is that we, the adult concentrate so much on the formality, so much occupied with teacher-student-school environment that we forget that WE ARE HUMAN who needs human contact..if you go to class because the regulation made it compulsory that you do..and then study-study-study with no actual contact-then of course, they will feel that you are nothing to them..
i want to be somebody that help to improve on situation..if not big then in a personal way. Insyaallah..
start with yesterday
yesterday, i only have class in the morning.after that, i went to the pantry and stapled all the final test papers there.without disturbance..i really like sitting there because the aircond in the office has not been working properly since April.and the pantry is so cold..feel like moving my desk to that place forever..hehe
in the morning i was trying to use the paper cutter which i failed miserably at first..and all the boys in who were in the office at that time laughed at me.but later, they offered to help when i have already completed the task at hand..huhu.i like the good spirit.;o)
the one class i have in the morning is one of my favourite class..but some of them just cant be nice to me.i did feel tersinggung sikit.but that's what children do..act childishly almost all the time.biarlah habis di situ saja.malas mau panjang2 cerita.
but actually yesterday was an uncomfortable day.sebab ada orang terlebih bergurau..saya yg blur ni pun tidak faham whether this person bergurau OR dia memang betul-betul maksudkan apa yang dia cakap.so, dia tidak berani bertentang mata dengan saya.i wondered whether he was drunk at the time he said to me those things..or simply segan..tidak taulah.the reason why i spent the morning session at the pantry was because i dont want him or me to feel the tension.huhu
today,supposed to have 2 exams but one class rescheduled their exam to Thursday..budak-budak sekarang..bukan kita yang control dorg..they all have the power to control everything..budak2 bertuah betul.
and while i jaga my students from the other class..suddenly i got this weird feeling of empathy creeping in.rasa sayu n kesian. i look at my students and wonder what kind of life they are living?what kind of home they r having?what kind of people they have in their life?and are they happy..i dont know but something just trigger my train of thought towards it...it only makes me determine to improve my teachings.so they dont get boring, and feel that my class is a must-go class, one that makes them feel comfortable and enjoy learning..someone that they could trust,insyallah.
i think one of the problems with the youth in Poli Mukah is that we, the adult concentrate so much on the formality, so much occupied with teacher-student-school environment that we forget that WE ARE HUMAN who needs human contact..if you go to class because the regulation made it compulsory that you do..and then study-study-study with no actual contact-then of course, they will feel that you are nothing to them..
i want to be somebody that help to improve on situation..if not big then in a personal way. Insyaallah..
May 4, 2009
reflection
there are so many things to be grateful about life-the bad or the better one.Everything that happens in our life has reasons of its own.sometime, we are too damn eager to judge things without knowing that it can be a good sign all the way.
My life has not been a sugar coated journey.it is full of events-sadness and happiness that leads to maturity. one that has shades of regrets and gratitude.
the first phase out of home was the most trying time.iam trying to move and adapt. and at the same time applying principles and familiarity into it.the result is quite frustrating.
At such a young age of 18, i couldnt understand the exchange of info and change of environment.Many things happened that added chaos into my life.family crisis, identity chaos, heartbroken and too much thinking led to a very solitary and lonely life.
Heartbroken, serious but determined, i began a new phase. i began turning in to myself and preferred being different from other people-which made everything so solemn and sombre.it was so hollow.funny why i cant remember how it felt nowadays.
i started as a stubborn cynic who hates everything about life.i hate tv because there are too many soap operas. and i hate the world just because it is different from narrow minded outlook.(at that time)
But as only time can do, i grow better in every second.As i preferred to see it from different direction, and willing to learn as i go, things get easier and simpler-everyday becomes more meaningful and strangely comforting.My comfort zone widen and beautiful things spramg out of everywhere.
Nowadays..still am a cynic,serious not the least but more willing to open up to possibility and challenge.im done with complaining and whinning about unfair life.Thanks to all the lessons from the world.after all it is the greatest teacher of all.
The thing is you cant possibly turns everything to your favour.you can only manipulate it to serve the end that you desire.Why would you want to change the world if u remain static?
of course..in every story or journey, while you are busy finding the way to yourself..there are people who understand and support your cause..but many would also joke and make fun of your shortcomings and trouble.--infact almost everything you do.
even Allah promises in the holy Quran: (al-Insyirah: dan sesiapa yang akan menyanggah janji Allah bahawa dia menjamin akan mengangkat setiap masalah kita?Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan)
My life has not been a sugar coated journey.it is full of events-sadness and happiness that leads to maturity. one that has shades of regrets and gratitude.
the first phase out of home was the most trying time.iam trying to move and adapt. and at the same time applying principles and familiarity into it.the result is quite frustrating.
At such a young age of 18, i couldnt understand the exchange of info and change of environment.Many things happened that added chaos into my life.family crisis, identity chaos, heartbroken and too much thinking led to a very solitary and lonely life.
Heartbroken, serious but determined, i began a new phase. i began turning in to myself and preferred being different from other people-which made everything so solemn and sombre.it was so hollow.funny why i cant remember how it felt nowadays.
i started as a stubborn cynic who hates everything about life.i hate tv because there are too many soap operas. and i hate the world just because it is different from narrow minded outlook.(at that time)
But as only time can do, i grow better in every second.As i preferred to see it from different direction, and willing to learn as i go, things get easier and simpler-everyday becomes more meaningful and strangely comforting.My comfort zone widen and beautiful things spramg out of everywhere.
Nowadays..still am a cynic,serious not the least but more willing to open up to possibility and challenge.im done with complaining and whinning about unfair life.Thanks to all the lessons from the world.after all it is the greatest teacher of all.
The thing is you cant possibly turns everything to your favour.you can only manipulate it to serve the end that you desire.Why would you want to change the world if u remain static?
of course..in every story or journey, while you are busy finding the way to yourself..there are people who understand and support your cause..but many would also joke and make fun of your shortcomings and trouble.--infact almost everything you do.
even Allah promises in the holy Quran: (al-Insyirah: dan sesiapa yang akan menyanggah janji Allah bahawa dia menjamin akan mengangkat setiap masalah kita?Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan)
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