busy as busy can be.many things to do.assignments to mark.assignment to be given out.have to update many things.just for the sake of making things run smoother.somehow,i find solace in that.i can lost myself doing it.i was marking assignment.a simple one really.i was marking assignment intending to just look at the main ideas.and i ended up looking at the language aspect.it made me shook my head in helplessness, and made me smile at the same time.that's the beauty of it.i begin to feel deeply in love.and it gives me purpose.i love the feeling of challenging my notion about myself.knowing that i can do and iam different from what i believe i am. i am practically happy.
though i feel disturbed about something.and today,i am pretty angry about it.i try not to care about what other people said about me.But the more i gnore it,the more he wants to see me crawl inside.i wonder, why he wants to put off the smile of my face.i am not sure which parts of him that hurts..or probably i begin to think about it too seriously.i m not sure.but if things were said more than once, and in many different ways,u begin to feel hurt and angry about it.i was hurt because i feel that he is trying to find fault with me.as if nothing i do is right.as if i cant do anything right.i dont know what is the intention-whether to get my attention or to drive me away.the way everything goes, i guess it's the later...
well,if that's the best for everyone,i guess i need to relocate.i couldnt stand being in an uncomfortable situation with anyone when there is no obvious reason.i just dont need that. oh well, there is one vacant place somewhere in the office...
im reading a book "the story of you" by steve chandler-something that helps me to be positive, to stay positive and create a positive energy for myself in everyday life.
So, insyaallah i m going to be just fine.
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