im revising my blog.reading what i have written these lately. loads of emotional ranting.loads of negative emotions. Whatever happened to my positive carefree attitude-seems to be somewhat misplaced.
the thing is, i am homesick.it has been three months, and i have been working non stop, and i have all sorts of internal conflicts-my bestmate, my closest friend, my works, and myself. This afternoon, my friends were having a good laugh about me, they said that i said the most funniest thing without having to look funny. the truth is, i am a very serious person and said the most uncommon things. So they think it was funny. They dont understand me actually. that's why they said that.Im never simple, and my bestmate termed it as the common thing for literature people-to be annoying and nonsensical-not to mention "complicated".But the overall point is they dont know that im a very serious, private and personal person. i prefer to look at everything from a deeper perspective. When i said something, i dont want it to be just another "tong kosong"-speaking for the sake of speaking. i consider every word that comes out from my mouth. My bestmate preferred being blunt-which he termed straightforward.Suit yourself. im not the type of person who just blurted out anything-and regretted it later.i prefer to be selective of what i said. he dont understand that. everybody dont understand that. i dont believe in explaining myself to anybody. So,yeah,they can think what they like.
im just too damned personal these lately.too many thinking.Maybe, i just need a break from everything.get a breather or something. Otherwise, i'll spend the next few months being a real pain in the a**.
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