just rambling

much anticipated weekend. really needs this weekend like i never need any before.i realised these lately, ive spent quite many weekends at other places than home. so,im very grateful to have the weekend just flipping through channels on TV. simple pleasure of doing nothing.

In the morning though, went out with my friends and my brothers to pasar.bought sotong because my brothers love it.i promised to cook but after doing some chores in the afternoon,and prepared tea, i changed my mind. so instead of the sotong my brothers ate spicy fried chicken . i try to do it tomorrow. hope, the taste wont disappoint them, i think they missed home.they mentioned home almost everyday.they missed my mum's cooking. my mum jokingly said that one of my brothers missed her girlfiend.so true.the way that they smsed non stop.i will be lonely after they go home. No one to talk to.No one to go home to in the evening.huh.
im a homely person.i like spending time at home.it is like a bolthole for me.my private space.my favourite resting place. well, i enjoy going out once in a while, but somehow i get bored of constantly moving around.i like my own company. but i learned something a long while ago. if you said that you are tired, then u will automatically feel tired, but if you didnt announce it, you will feel just fine. it's in the mind.

but there was a time when i feel so stressed out being alone. i can only feel gratitude when a bunch of friends asked me out.after that, i was cured from the boredoom. this is not one of those. this time i really love staying indoor, just lie down and do some chores around the house. blissful.
next week, i'll be out again, going to send my brothers home. maybe i'll be away for a week.or if my boss didnt approve, i'll be back in mukah in no time.i have something i need to settle at home, and it's the only time i can think of getting away.i dont know what i would do in the office while waiting for next semester to resume. My friend ask me to follow her to Kuching and stay at her house.That's so much an interesting prospect.im not going to think about it.im going.

i have mostly finished my works on friday/except for some.and i found myself wondering what to do.lucky i have to invigilate an examination in the afternoon.otherwise, i will sit around and do nothing in the office waiting for the clock to strike 4.30pm.

Weird, i noticed that my friend was eyeing my brother this morning.and it was not an unusual response.he gets the same attention all the time.so i noticed but just keep quiet. i was looking at my brother and he was seriously eating his breakfast-and wont even make eye contact with me-so he noticed too. but what's new?She even boldly announced-suddenly-that she was too old for them(my brothers).i was reading too much of her body language.although she said it jokingly,but i found it rather out of place.but what the heck?what could be so wrong of just looking?we can only enjoy it while it lasts.

met with my colleague and her BF again today.she did asked me to go out with them.But i decided not to go with them because i thought that with me it would be a threesome.but my brothers and all?it was like asking the whole Mukah.haha. but mostly is because, there was one time when she asked her BF to go and stay the night at my house.Her mother came and she didnt want her to know that her BF was a regular at her house. so we talked. and after that, he seemed to be quite comfortable with me.and it was not after he held my hand when i was trying to cross a drain when the three of us went out together that i decided i dont want to go with them anymore.well, probably it was a simple gesture of kindness, but not when ive already reached the other side safely. There was a time when she told me that, her BF said that after she went home that night, he slept till morning.when the truth was, he stayed chatting with me until 2am in the morning.i never said anything about it. and lately, there were quite many advices from her BF for me conveyed by my friend.i try to be positive about it all,and i dont want to intrude on other people's property as well.so, the less i be around them, the better.it so happened that "people" in my past started to develop feelings for me after they spent times with me. and it so happened also that ive lost quite a few girlfriends because of that.and it's hardly my fault.i didnt even do a single thing.im too principled for cheap tricks like that.but it so happened.so a little caution helps.

Still on the same subject though, it takes a long time for me to really notice that i like a person. i remembered when i finally fell for My Gentleman.people are constantly talking about him, his charms, and his everything.and i didnt even notice.it was his personality that caught me in the end. i dont care about his good looks. i only noticed that he was kind, caring,smile a lot, always trying to crack a joke around me, active-and i fell for that.and not his look.

the way i rambled,probably im bored after all..huhu.