Raya, Day 1

Wow..

i only went to two houses so far. i was not that into raya mood. it's all the same.
but i quite enjoyed it. i just didn't feel like eating. One round to my aunt's house today, i went straight home and sleep for one hour. all are the side effect of ketupat palas, rendang and tea. as if i was on drug..Tea was never my favourite for having a very bad effect on me. and glutonious rice?wow, they sent me straight to bed.

The snapshots?sad.

Im working on my raya project for the benefit of my social network and i was disappointed.to say the least. i grew impatient of the photos taken. all were caused by the lense of the digital cam..Oh, it dampened my creative energy. i resorted to using my older Nikon cam, which was as good as my Fuji. but, i have to have ready supply of batteries. again, that dampened my spirit. the lense of my Fuji was slightly problematic because of some people's careless handling.I hate to say anything about it, but at a time like this, it got into my head pretty badly.annoyed would be an understatement. that's what i get for being kind. Trouble!

today is already tuesday. How i wish i could prolong my leave. But life has to continue, and so i have to bear with it. I wish for many things but right now, i just have to learn to manage. I hate Sunday by the way.like hate,hate,hate,hate,hate!

To be honest, i just dont have the heart for everything. im not here to satisfy my peers. i was never a feeder for people ideas of idealistic person.That's why, probably, it is easy to hurt me just by going with the crowd, i would hate anyone for that.Really hate.

That's what time alone do to you. You evaluate your situation, evaluate your strength and weakness, look at how people respond-whether it measure up to their own hyped values,and whether you respond accordingly to the situation.I learn to grow up everyday. and growing up is never an option for me. i was trained like that. and when you start applying what you learn, then some of the things become a lost cause. have to let go for your own betterment.

there are so many things that i could say but, it is true that, some of the things are better left unsaid.

But no matter what i said to calm myself,i still feel surging anger in my heart. For all the wrong reasons.