Closer

i was crying because Natalie Portman was crying.

I was crying because, we usually didn't care about the small things that we did to one another. we only remembered it long after everything is done and finished for good.
We only understand the intensity of emotion well after everything become null and void.
We always wished the other person to be someone else, either that or we were just too egoistic to see the significance of the actions done.

i cried myself to sleep. Wake up the next morning with an ache in my heart. a yearning that need to be ignored. a regret for whatever it is that didn't work out properly.and what's the point in it to be in a relationship where you were hurting the entire time, and the only thing that connected to the other person were only thing that break you?

I pray to Allah for the strength to overcome my sadness. i don't posses the ability to fight for it anymore. Or to let my heart be torn apart by my very feeling.

I don't love you is a lie, but i love you is hurting.


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