Life As We Know It

Relationship is a complicated thing. You get used to it, it seems to be bearable. Until one person modify the meaning for you.

I used to be a commitment phobic. and sadly after one failed attempt at a relationship, i'm even more of a phobic. i used to think that as long as you are committed to the relationship, and you both have the same objective it would work well. Love doesn't even come into my big picture. because i'm not a believer of that emotion. i don't believe in love at the first sight. Based on my observation, 80% of relationship worked because of the hardworks, compromise, commitment and your willingness to be in one. Traditionally, people got married because it was an obligation,a responsibility and because it was the right thing to do. No one ever mentioned love. Those who marry for love seemed to be always at the wrong side of the bed; maybe because the society think that people who show their feeling are not sensible. People often associated love with desire and lust.

i thought i could get away with all those traditional values until i was in the relationship which had proven to me otherwise. I thought it's okay to be in a relationship, where emotion are not intense;as long as you respect the other, well, love can come later on. But the failed relationship told me that my thinking is actually very defective. In the end,you could get in a very emotionally tangled state. What's the use of a relationship when you can't actually put your feeling in it?What's the use of a relationship when you can't actually proclaimed anything to be yours?and can you be responsible then?It sounded so half-hearted.and how bad a damage it caused.

i'd rather be in a relationship with all my heart than in a relationship where i don't actually know what i have or where i stand. As if you are in a ghost relationship, where not much can be developed.

But so far, i haven't really found one.

And if i ever were in a relationship again, let it be for real.