Mood swinger

Friday..the most dreadful day for me.it means i have to bear longer hours of non activity.i couldnt quite enjoy weekend anymore.i have problem being alone.then my mind would drift into dangerous ground of thinking too much.the irony is i dont really like being around people.then i'll start to hate everything.my life is really in the state of craziness right now.i basically dont like everything... I am experiencing a chronic mood swing.i hadnt been in mood swing for a long time.last time was in my first year,when i was breaking off with my boyfriend..my mood swing this time is caused by 2 things.first,i dont like the fact that people think they can lash out their anger at me,when they were mad at someone else.i really despised that.it was not even my fault.i was really mad being a punching bag.because i always restrain myself from doing that.but again,people just dont give a damn..secondly,i hate a crazy competition!i dont like people who think they know all about me,and therefore help make the decision for me.i simply hate people who said i try to compete with them,when all i do was trying to make myself feel better!damned you!i dont need to prove myself to anybody.damned you for making anybody think that i need to explain myself to anybody.damned you for making me hating you even worst.for having emotions at all..just looking at this particular person,my good mood all run out through the window!you are great for having the capability of making me hate you so much..and i never want an unhealthy competition whose basic is cheating,lying and backstabbing.no,oh god,help me get out from this calamity... I wish i could run and never have to be here.to see my self confidence shred to pieces..clearly i have a problem with myself.clearly im in a lot of trouble than necessary.. Apalagi yang saya perlu buat ni?! Saya sudah sangat bosan!