Im in a little bit of a mood swing today. Maybe it was the awful dream last night. The mood changes from sad to angry. i just cant figure out what's wrong. Then i got hit in the face. I was angry with myself, again for letting people take advantage of my readiness to help. i felt used and manipulated. i am bored that it is about to happen again. Basically, everything angers me.
As if everyone is freaking perfect, and unselfish. i am angry that i let that get to my head. i feel like throwing tantrums but forced to just endure. well, something isnt right here.
I am angry that i let some people used me for selfish reasons. Haih, cover line la sangat. Lepas tu masa kecewa-kecewa, baru nak cakap, "actually we are blablabla". Damned it. You want to court someone, you go get that someone. Don't use me as a smokescreen! I have eyes and i can understand. I dont want to pretend like i dont know that. Arghh!!angry.
Maybe, for the time being, i really need to give myself some space. Go into the cave. Be alone. That would make me feel better.
#saya rasa sangat dikhianati.
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