Of the people i love

i appreciate quiet time. doing my own things. staying indoor.

i am cleaning a room for my brother, now that he is very near. putting off things i dont need and making it ready and accessible. Accessible being the operative word because i used to put loads of things there, my scarves, my PES 1 is there. the room is practically full of things. So, maybe, i'll be needing boxes to put away all those things. i need a new standing fan because the overhead fan can't be use anymore. i used to sleep in that room whenever i find it hard to sleep in the master bedroom. Sometimes, i get paranoia with the master bedrooom when i couldn't sleep and started to feel like getting hysterical in the room. So funny to think back now, but that was when i am still so much in heartbroken state. Maybe mum was right when she said that the room feels better because i pray there. Now that i'm ok, i sleep like a baby. I don't care anymore for what happened in the past.

when my other brother was here, he helped me to fix my bathroom door, which happened to be almost unhinged. i came back from work one afternoon and it was all in order. So grateful for the people who love me. He helped me fix the cord for drying clothes at the balcony and helped me removed all the stuffs left by the person before me. It was three years ago, and it was just being removed in 2012. so much of helping i need. and glad that they are here to help. i feel happier thinking that i wont be all alone this year, and at least i have someone to turn to. This year is going to be a different turn.

Pak Abu did something so heartwarming this week. im on emergency leave on monday. So my students phoned me to say that the lecturer that was supposed to take over my class hadn't show up yet. I didn't know who to call, so i called him. He didn't pick up. after awhile he called and i started stumbling all over for words to explain. Later, he texted me asking whether i'm okay or not. I found that it was very nice of him to ask. But forgot to thank him. i am still so much a sucker for kindness. Thank u Pak Abu. A good friend you are.

Something i have to remind myself: have to stop hanging out with some people. Simply because i dont want to complicate things. it seems that one is down. i don't want to repeat what happened in the past. Let's make the boundary clear, "no complication is tolerable" ground is on. Sorry dear friend. i am somewhat a conventional lady. i don't want to be seen with some other people's fiancee/ boyfriend / etc.

i guess, at the moment i should be thanking all of the good people who, in ways, help me move along with life. i am always the kind of person who love the small things people do to me or for me, things that move me in a way only i can appreciate it.

Believe me it means so much.