Question of Trust

The fourth day of hari raya.we were having an open house yesterday.People coming in and out of the house,until after Isyak.It was ok,not as tiring as last year's hari raya.Catering-save time and budget.Some of my friends and long lost friends came.I felt glad to see them after years of absence. Though i dont have many friends here now.Just because of times and commitment.so along the way, we drifted.some of them moved out.some were simply M.I.A.
But,the hari raya was marred by inconsiderate people who just dont know where to draw the line. it's one thing to cheat on somebody, and another to actually bring home the culprit. This is after all a family gathering.there's no point bringing home the home wrecker. and even worst when there were people who dont understand this.and still have the guts to ask/order other people to simply be nice and accept 'it' as normal.come on man, it's a question of trust.once broken, that's the point of no return.at least try to understand the concept, can you?i think not.oh the stress, all the bickering, the blaming game,the emotional blackmail..i cant begin to describe how upset i am by that.
i dont want to keep finding things to be at fault.it's becomes really tiring and boring after some time.i dont want to keep on talking about negative feeling.But what am i suppose to do,when it was right in front of my eyes?How can i remain unmoved by that?i dont want to be hating anyone for a lifetime.But still, it happened.again and again.
I learned something though.once you fail to honour the trust nothing would be the same again. Never would anything be the same again.you will always be on the watch out for signs of corruption.Dont ever mention the words trust, or respect, if you dont know the meaning. Dont!!if you dont mean it.Dont ever try to use that against somebody just to blackmail them.
i am looking for somebody who wouldnt use emotional blackmail against me, just so that i feel inadequate about who i am,or what i stand for.i wouldnt want somebody who makes me feel so wrong about myself just so that he will feel better about himself.i want somebody who helps me to realise my full potential as a friend and as someone who matters.Not just a helping hand during vulnerable moments.i want everything he can offer in whatever times.i want the real deal.solid and sound.i dont want half measure.
I know it's hari raya.Not exactly the right time to nag senseless.But i wonder when is the right time?