My Big decision

i am a nervous wreck!The feeling is almost similar with my feeling when i loaned for the house. But i didn't have any regret about my decision. it is high time anyway. waiting would be a good option, but i guess i have to take the chance. May Allah guides me all through the way.

I am nervous about the course in Kuching. I am afraid i wouldn't be up to the required standard. This nervousness was due to one of the KJs' statement. I wasn't the one chosen to be in the course. I was "there" because i have to fill in an empty space. I felt doubted of my ability at first. What i recalled was, my former boss asked "those who were interested" to go. There was never a question of "a specific person" to go. But when she said that, i thought, well someone must have thought that she is the privilege. The KJ mentioned that someone mentioned that she was supposed to go, but because of some reasons, she can't go and therefore she was replaced by me. The word "replacement" here is hurting my ego.As if, i don't have enough credibility to conduct the course. Well, i just have to give everyone's a free show off of what i can do...No big deal. You can say anything you like- i'll show what i can do!
There is just no ending to her running mouth, i guess. These few days, i was asked by several persons about something that she goes about telling almost everyone.I was bored and fed up. I hate all the pretenses. i felt choked!If everyone is hell bent on being hypocrite, it doesn't matter. I'd say all the best!

I am anticipating few good things. I am waiting for July, although nothing would be the same after July, but let's pray for all the good things to come rolling around.Insya Allah,everything would work out fine.

Insya Allah biiznillah.