Rambling rambles

i dont know how to describe my weekend.Mixture of everything. Boredoom, exasperation,panic-it is all eating up on me.

on saturday morning, i went to the office, to finish marking my students's file-which i had conveniently left on Friday.i was there at 0815, expecting that the person holding the key would be there as soon as he can. But,unfortunately, i waited for another 15 minutes.i was planning to work untill 1100am.so any hindrance get on my nerves easily..huhu.so i wasted around 45 minutes waiting and getting everything i needed.

Around 1100am, my friends came, and we went out to the town.i was not in good mood, and i cant think of anything to say.so, i pretended to be sleepy. my mind was really in negative state,i was afraid that if i said anything, somebody would get killed.She said something that triggered my murderous thought..and it spoiled my mood.

We ate at KFC. Met some x-students of mine,who complaint about a certain someone. Why she is this and that?i listened,feigning interest-just by hearing people mentioning a certain someone's name triggered my murderous thought..again.Huh,i was suffering for nothing!!Why Today of all day?!and another bitching session afterwards.ARGH!!!!

and later on, i went to take my baju kurung from the tailor.Guess what?not done yet, and she promised that i can get it by Monday-3/5/2010.it was saturday already..HUH?WHAT DID I DO TO YOU ALL TO DESERVE THESE???????My suffering is prolonged by people who go from one store to another, lingered around and bought nothing!!

and at night, my students came-had a sleepover party.I dont mind them coming-a good diversion for my murderous thought.But sometimes during the night, i was awaken by people laughing and talking loudly. they didnt sleep until 2 in the morning..The night air was hot and the TV was turned on too loud, and they were moving around here and there so much,it kept me awake.and then suddenly the sounds died down. i thought for the better. Hmm,after a few second, they came rushing to my room, said that there is something wrong with the fan in the room.the switch was on fire. smoke everywhere.so, i went to switch off the main switch, we all were very quiet for a long time.Nobody slept at any room. we all slept at the living room..Huh.

People said, negative emotions attract negative things. i think it's the truth,when you think in a negative way, you begin to react, and your reaction will lead to another thing,usually many negatives will bring about even more negative things. Look what happened to my days. almost entirely negative things.

positive things yesterday:
a)managed to mark exam papers for 2 classes
b)was able to handle the panic situation accordingly.one of my students actually cried...frightened
c)did not say anything that i might regret later..not even to the auntie.:o),
d)many other small things that i feel proud of.