Day 1 without you

..had been pretty smooth.

Not as much turmoil as i expected to be. Infact, today passed as uneventful as i would like it to be. i thought that i would be swinging from one emotion to another. it seems that i underestimated myself. i was doing so well that there is no trace of Friday's frustration.Thank you Allah for making this easier for me.

I dont know why, but the friend in question suddenly asked me to join her activity. Usually i'll have to ask her to tag along. But today, all of a sudden, she invited me. I dont know whether it was out of guilt for something, or because she wanted to tell me something, or because everyone thought that i was in such a wreckage that i would need a shoulder or a shirt to wipe my tears with..urgh, how ungrateful i can be...But im going to give her the benefit of all doubts,and trust her. i wont meddle in other people's affair, unless or until they let me. I didnt ask a single question about my best mate-whether he still text her/or on what topic or anything..Nada.Im proud of my patience. Im really proud of myself. Or, come to think of it, maybe i dont care anymore.

My uncle mentioned about an offer to teach in UITM in Tawau for the Department of Language, and im seriously considering. It's closer to home, where i can spend more times with my family, while pursuing my career. But then there are things to think about, the legal aspect, the transfer, the rules etc..it is not a matter that can be decide impulsively.. i'll sleep on it.Maybe it's time to change direction.

I almost laughed out loud when he suddenly turned up the volume when a song on "Broken String" came up. Maybe it is nothing personal. But so far, the song always comes up when we have misunderstanding/ too far for comfort..Just so you know, mate..im bored with this on-off thingy.

Last but not least, there's nothing left to pursue. he said that after Friday (just because he is chasing other girl) we would be no more-never existed-an unknown person-and that he wont bother me anymore..So im giving him the benefits of all doubts and trust him.