Funny.
i never think i would have one.But it turns out that i have.So, i was thinking and laughing at the same time. Thinking that, the phrase summed up the whole meaning.Both literally and figuratively.well,nothing degrading, just having fun thinking about it..Enjoying my thought so much.
so, what triggered this? i was smsing with my friend who is on a long holiday. so she mentioned that, today, which is the Chap Goh Mei celebration is actually the Hari kekasih in the Chinese Calendar. So we were discussing about office things.And all of a sudden, i was thinking about him..
These lately, we are so busy to get our life moving, and i hadnt talk with him for a long time..He is not exactly a kekasih, just somebody that is close enough. To say the least.
Well. i mentioned this simply because i am thinking about him. That's all. Because suddenly i missed him so terribly and the thought of him made me smile
;o)
Feb 28, 2010
Feb 26, 2010
Rambling again
Today i had a full day.i was one of Prep and Tech JK for Maulidur Rasul..so there are loads of things to be done. This morning, i joined the perarakan..and it was not in vain as we won peserta paling ramai and peserta terbaik. So all my busy-ness paid.One thing when you worked with guys are, they are very fond of making everything up to you. They trusted you to make decision about something they dont want to do. So all this while, i feel that my time was occupied with figuring the small details, while my counterpart prepared for the rest.But, mind you, small details mean you have to figure every details that should be there before the big day. so, yeah..i learned a lot of management.Thanks to the students.They made me feel that everything is possible. Although, they were usually late, but they delivered. and creative. So, any other things is unimportant for me.
Tomorrow is the big night.and i spent the entire afternoon with a bunch of very helpful and creative students.I didnt quite like one of them, but what the heck?everybody was trying to be cooperative.
There are things that i found funny. The other day, i felt irritated about a person in our office. some students came to the office asking for MUET slip. So, he was halfway through.Infact, he had already given one of the students' slip. i just came in into the office and was about to sit, when suddenly he called my name, and gestured me to handle the process. it was in the afternoon, and i was tired. Without saying anything, he practically ordered me "with hand gesture" to handle the process.
i was angry because he "ordered" me to do that. and i was also angry because i feel that he did that because i am a girl.i was mad beyond word. He can always said that he didnt know the procedure, but heck, he had already given one of the students her slip?At least he could have said "please", or say something..but he didnt say anything..i told my bestmate about the incident.and he said that i was trying to complicate a simple situation..and also because i was just being sensitive.what more can i say? so i kept quiet and try to forget the incident. Perhaps it's true that, man and woman's definition of emotional differed,so when we are being passionate, the guy would say that we are being emotional. And when they are emotional, they termed it as passionate..whatever.
But, one of my friend suddenly commented something about this guy-the same thing-he like to order everybody around, especially the girls in our office to do something for him.Better still, one of the senior in the office also said that he asked her to do something for him, and when the thing turned out wrongly, he pointed the mistake to her infront of the KJ. The funny thing is, if my impression of him was unrealistic and emotional, why should everybody complaint about the same thing about him? So now, should i say i know so? Needless, isnt it..it is proven.
one sad thing, i failed my table test. it means, i have to take the test again sooner or later.it dampened my spirit a little. That would teach me next time to not rush everything..next time,i should take it seriously, and not just read the book in between marking assignment..failing is not a familiar thing to me, that's why i feel really distracted by this one.
im busy, i failed my test but im smiling...so, doesnt that mean that im in stress mode?where my mood do not matched my situation? sounds like stress to me..
nothing that i cant handle i supposed...(Insya Allah)
Tomorrow is the big night.and i spent the entire afternoon with a bunch of very helpful and creative students.I didnt quite like one of them, but what the heck?everybody was trying to be cooperative.
There are things that i found funny. The other day, i felt irritated about a person in our office. some students came to the office asking for MUET slip. So, he was halfway through.Infact, he had already given one of the students' slip. i just came in into the office and was about to sit, when suddenly he called my name, and gestured me to handle the process. it was in the afternoon, and i was tired. Without saying anything, he practically ordered me "with hand gesture" to handle the process.
i was angry because he "ordered" me to do that. and i was also angry because i feel that he did that because i am a girl.i was mad beyond word. He can always said that he didnt know the procedure, but heck, he had already given one of the students her slip?At least he could have said "please", or say something..but he didnt say anything..i told my bestmate about the incident.and he said that i was trying to complicate a simple situation..and also because i was just being sensitive.what more can i say? so i kept quiet and try to forget the incident. Perhaps it's true that, man and woman's definition of emotional differed,so when we are being passionate, the guy would say that we are being emotional. And when they are emotional, they termed it as passionate..whatever.
But, one of my friend suddenly commented something about this guy-the same thing-he like to order everybody around, especially the girls in our office to do something for him.Better still, one of the senior in the office also said that he asked her to do something for him, and when the thing turned out wrongly, he pointed the mistake to her infront of the KJ. The funny thing is, if my impression of him was unrealistic and emotional, why should everybody complaint about the same thing about him? So now, should i say i know so? Needless, isnt it..it is proven.
one sad thing, i failed my table test. it means, i have to take the test again sooner or later.it dampened my spirit a little. That would teach me next time to not rush everything..next time,i should take it seriously, and not just read the book in between marking assignment..failing is not a familiar thing to me, that's why i feel really distracted by this one.
im busy, i failed my test but im smiling...so, doesnt that mean that im in stress mode?where my mood do not matched my situation? sounds like stress to me..
nothing that i cant handle i supposed...(Insya Allah)
Feb 19, 2010
What Do You Want?
i want
a)a good career where i can perform my duty, i can fulfil my responsibility, and learn something that helps to polish my skills while it lasts.
b)a good life where i can do my best to make people who matters to me contented, a safe, predictable and responsible way of living-not one that is wasted on something unimportant or meaningless.
c)the wisdom to be better in whatever i do in life, with whoever i deal with, the wisdom to do all the right things.
d)the courage to be better, do everything i can to improve my life and people around me, and be the improvement that can somewhat effect people even in a small way.
e)to not being tired of living life to the fullest even if i feel down, to not complain about it or even hate it for something that i do not get.
f)to always have the motivation to go on, and to always believe that i can do anything i want to do if i want to do it, and to always be aware that there are options available, and it's up to me how i want it to be.
g)to believe in myself, my ability, and my capacity-and of course to put all my faith in Allah.
"Everything is in your superior knowledge, ya Allah.I can only do the best i can with my resources. The rest is for you to decide. I will not have the might to do a thing without your guidance and approval."
p/s-it seems that i didnt write any tangible goal-i wonder if my goals are far-fetched after all?
i was listening to a radio programme when someone said that an adult cant clearly state what they really want.so i tried writing mine, and this is the result.
a)a good career where i can perform my duty, i can fulfil my responsibility, and learn something that helps to polish my skills while it lasts.
b)a good life where i can do my best to make people who matters to me contented, a safe, predictable and responsible way of living-not one that is wasted on something unimportant or meaningless.
c)the wisdom to be better in whatever i do in life, with whoever i deal with, the wisdom to do all the right things.
d)the courage to be better, do everything i can to improve my life and people around me, and be the improvement that can somewhat effect people even in a small way.
e)to not being tired of living life to the fullest even if i feel down, to not complain about it or even hate it for something that i do not get.
f)to always have the motivation to go on, and to always believe that i can do anything i want to do if i want to do it, and to always be aware that there are options available, and it's up to me how i want it to be.
g)to believe in myself, my ability, and my capacity-and of course to put all my faith in Allah.
"Everything is in your superior knowledge, ya Allah.I can only do the best i can with my resources. The rest is for you to decide. I will not have the might to do a thing without your guidance and approval."
p/s-it seems that i didnt write any tangible goal-i wonder if my goals are far-fetched after all?
i was listening to a radio programme when someone said that an adult cant clearly state what they really want.so i tried writing mine, and this is the result.
Feb 18, 2010
Sick
the last time i was sick was last year's hari raya.i had fever and flu.
im usually a very fit person.i seldom have flu or fever-just mild headache but nothing as disturbing as flu and fever. So here am i.Flu and fever.
I thought the weather was lovely, but probably wind is not my element.so, i catched the flu.Plus,it has been hot these lately.So despite my saying that everything is just nice, i fell sick.
but over all im doing just fine.it is just the flu that disturbed me a little. it somewhat distracted the balance of the body.so i feel a little overwhelmed by that.Just the same thing experienced by people who suffered from flu.nothing fancy.
but what to complaint?
orang kata, kesakitan tu adalah cara membasuh dosa-dosa yang telah kita lakukan.
Jika ini diturunkan sebagai ujian untuk membasuh dosa-dosa yang telah dilakukan dan sebagai peringatan, redha sajalah. Insya Allah, dengan izin tuhan..
im usually a very fit person.i seldom have flu or fever-just mild headache but nothing as disturbing as flu and fever. So here am i.Flu and fever.
I thought the weather was lovely, but probably wind is not my element.so, i catched the flu.Plus,it has been hot these lately.So despite my saying that everything is just nice, i fell sick.
but over all im doing just fine.it is just the flu that disturbed me a little. it somewhat distracted the balance of the body.so i feel a little overwhelmed by that.Just the same thing experienced by people who suffered from flu.nothing fancy.
but what to complaint?
orang kata, kesakitan tu adalah cara membasuh dosa-dosa yang telah kita lakukan.
Jika ini diturunkan sebagai ujian untuk membasuh dosa-dosa yang telah dilakukan dan sebagai peringatan, redha sajalah. Insya Allah, dengan izin tuhan..
Feb 15, 2010
Miss Sentimental
Now, im pretty much in a very sentimental, and thoughtful mode.sometimes, i dislike being sentimental and thoughtful because the next minutes, i would have a very negative state of mind. Negativity is not something fun.it dragged your confidence down.More so, suddenly you will feel terribly alone and neglected-and it's very hard to get out from that. Movies get me thinking and trains of thought will bring back things that you shouldnt and supposedly should be left aside.But some movies are good source for thinking.And furthermore, it's in the way you see it. So im sentimental and thoughtful, but nevertheless ok.
I was reading LM Montgomery's Emily's Quest for the first time. i have always been a fan of her other Chronicles-but never really read Emily.It was a novel about a dreamy girl, with a flare for writing.the story was written in third person, as well as in diary-like notes.It was very thought stimulating. Hence is my sentimental state. Basically, the story was about Emily and her dream to be a writer.But given the fact that she lived in the new world of America, where women with ambition and quest for better life were regarded as weird-she was always faced with dissapointment. The one person whom she was supposed to marry, didnt believe that a woman has any other role other than that of being a wife. For Dean, women should use their beauty-to quote him-delicate hands, beautiful face and-i cant really remember his exact phrase about the lips-for something better-a woman is more useful at home, tending to her husband and children. So Emily was dissapointed.I am even more so. Dean was portrayed as a good looking guy, with manly presence, well travelled, and well educated-but it seemed that he was not that tolerant of the idea that women should have her own life other than being a wifey.i was relief that Emily didnt marry him, and was dissapointed because men are typically the same.The only thing that makes them different is the variation.they are variedly typical.
i watched quite a number of James Bond's Movies. i have actually been a fan of James Bond because of Pierce Brosnan. I think he becomes the role so much. Basically i have watched all of the Bond movies since then. I dont really like Danial Craig though. He was by far the most emotional Bond-which lessen his quality in my eyes. Why i loved the persona? Simply for the fact that, he is independent, dependable, decisive, weak and charming-i never once saw a James Bond movies where he came out without bruises,hurt or injury. Yes, i like the fact that he never try to imply that he is a perfect being, emotionless, and always impatient to turn his opponent into a deadmeat. I like his calm and assured style-he knows it and that's enough.Confidence.Oh yeah, i wont comment anything for the girls that go straight into his arm-i can resist his charm either.;o)..and anyway, which girls would?
But back to my theory of variation of typical men, James Bond is one variation of this typical nature.He likes smart courageous girls with brain and beauty, and it obvious that he much more prefer them in bed.There you go-delicate hands, beautiful face and bla bla bla lips..Much more useful in that way. So no matter how a man described himself, in the end it is all that matter-a woman's place is at home tending to husband and children..or husband.Guys by nature love submissiveness, so dont go around the bush and said you are complicated because sooner or later you proved it yourself that you are a variation if not the typical-typical type of men.
I am not a hardcore feminist-but i do care about how men perceived women. Some things have been ordered by divine law-but some are purely human invention. Most men do not have ideas how much their perception hurt women at times. I once believed that a woman's role is as what i have seen going on around me.But i knew about the bigger picture, there are so much more than just being satisfied sitting at home tending to household chores and being treated like a second class.There is more to it than just getting a husband. There is so much more needed to be taken care of. I am terribly let down that everytime i read magazines or newspaper, women were left uncared for-being the subject of injustice-battered, humiliated, and left with not an ounce of self belief-and without options.But they allowed it to happen to them because they believed that's the way things should be. A man is always a leader, a husband and the wife losts all her rights to this man who dont know /dont care about being responsible for a thing. It hurtful to see that, but it even more hurtful to know that these women allowed that to happen to them, and believed they should endured. This isnt about superiority, this is about being nice to all your fellow beings.And this is not to imply that, women should go on a riot, banned and killed men, or worst put them in a kitchen where we can shout at them. It is just that we dont need bullshit.We deserve to be treated with all due respect.
The Prophet s.a.w has shown exemplary behaviour in this. He was even quoted to say that: The best men among you are those who treat his wife with great respect:
So do not simply believe that it is a divine order that a woman's place is lower than man. Because in the Quran, it is stated that, men is physically stronger than women, therefore,it is his duty to protect women. That is the word of God. Isnt it good enough justification?
I was reading LM Montgomery's Emily's Quest for the first time. i have always been a fan of her other Chronicles-but never really read Emily.It was a novel about a dreamy girl, with a flare for writing.the story was written in third person, as well as in diary-like notes.It was very thought stimulating. Hence is my sentimental state. Basically, the story was about Emily and her dream to be a writer.But given the fact that she lived in the new world of America, where women with ambition and quest for better life were regarded as weird-she was always faced with dissapointment. The one person whom she was supposed to marry, didnt believe that a woman has any other role other than that of being a wife. For Dean, women should use their beauty-to quote him-delicate hands, beautiful face and-i cant really remember his exact phrase about the lips-for something better-a woman is more useful at home, tending to her husband and children. So Emily was dissapointed.I am even more so. Dean was portrayed as a good looking guy, with manly presence, well travelled, and well educated-but it seemed that he was not that tolerant of the idea that women should have her own life other than being a wifey.i was relief that Emily didnt marry him, and was dissapointed because men are typically the same.The only thing that makes them different is the variation.they are variedly typical.
i watched quite a number of James Bond's Movies. i have actually been a fan of James Bond because of Pierce Brosnan. I think he becomes the role so much. Basically i have watched all of the Bond movies since then. I dont really like Danial Craig though. He was by far the most emotional Bond-which lessen his quality in my eyes. Why i loved the persona? Simply for the fact that, he is independent, dependable, decisive, weak and charming-i never once saw a James Bond movies where he came out without bruises,hurt or injury. Yes, i like the fact that he never try to imply that he is a perfect being, emotionless, and always impatient to turn his opponent into a deadmeat. I like his calm and assured style-he knows it and that's enough.Confidence.Oh yeah, i wont comment anything for the girls that go straight into his arm-i can resist his charm either.;o)..and anyway, which girls would?
But back to my theory of variation of typical men, James Bond is one variation of this typical nature.He likes smart courageous girls with brain and beauty, and it obvious that he much more prefer them in bed.There you go-delicate hands, beautiful face and bla bla bla lips..Much more useful in that way. So no matter how a man described himself, in the end it is all that matter-a woman's place is at home tending to husband and children..or husband.Guys by nature love submissiveness, so dont go around the bush and said you are complicated because sooner or later you proved it yourself that you are a variation if not the typical-typical type of men.
I am not a hardcore feminist-but i do care about how men perceived women. Some things have been ordered by divine law-but some are purely human invention. Most men do not have ideas how much their perception hurt women at times. I once believed that a woman's role is as what i have seen going on around me.But i knew about the bigger picture, there are so much more than just being satisfied sitting at home tending to household chores and being treated like a second class.There is more to it than just getting a husband. There is so much more needed to be taken care of. I am terribly let down that everytime i read magazines or newspaper, women were left uncared for-being the subject of injustice-battered, humiliated, and left with not an ounce of self belief-and without options.But they allowed it to happen to them because they believed that's the way things should be. A man is always a leader, a husband and the wife losts all her rights to this man who dont know /dont care about being responsible for a thing. It hurtful to see that, but it even more hurtful to know that these women allowed that to happen to them, and believed they should endured. This isnt about superiority, this is about being nice to all your fellow beings.And this is not to imply that, women should go on a riot, banned and killed men, or worst put them in a kitchen where we can shout at them. It is just that we dont need bullshit.We deserve to be treated with all due respect.
The Prophet s.a.w has shown exemplary behaviour in this. He was even quoted to say that: The best men among you are those who treat his wife with great respect:
So do not simply believe that it is a divine order that a woman's place is lower than man. Because in the Quran, it is stated that, men is physically stronger than women, therefore,it is his duty to protect women. That is the word of God. Isnt it good enough justification?
Feb 13, 2010
Sleep-talking
I cant sleep.this happened usually when i am tired of working and cant wait for the weekend to chill.the excitement keeps me awake.A case for over excited mind.
how boring it gets.Just sit around doing nothing.As usual-Tv's programmes are boring.nothing interesting to watch. The same old movies where you had watched last year or last month. Even better, they will have a siaran ulangan tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.So there's no big deal about missing it.it will come up again sooner or later.But there was one time, where i waited years for a movie i really want to watch to come up again-When Harry Met Sally-just watched it two weeks ago after waiting for 2 years?if im not mistaken.
Facebook is even more boring.The same routine all the times.You post something, people comment.You browse through, find some updates that interest you, comment on it and you are done.What's new? Games?i am not really into games..i dont like things that get me addicted.Besides, the games just require you to click here and there and you are done.i dont know why people liked the game so much.But maybe it is a form of de-stress.Probably.
I have plan for saturday morning-go shopping, and some other things that need to be done.but the thing is to actually do it.and im still not sure whether i can do it as early as possible-given the fact that im not asleep at this time of the day..So i have to do some adjustment of time. i planned to hibernate-depending on the course of event during the day.Hibernate is the coolest thing to do on a long holiday like this.So as to recharge energy for the coming days.
My friends are away on holiday.They left me with fish and flower.So that will be my core business for the holidays.great.
these few days, i have been busy with assignments and other related works-infact im going to continue/start-whatever terms that suited it-on Monday.i am optimist that i can settle half of it by then.im optimist.and will try my best to execute my plan.
i guess i'll just hit my bed and sleep.because finally my eyes are getting heavier.
Finally...
how boring it gets.Just sit around doing nothing.As usual-Tv's programmes are boring.nothing interesting to watch. The same old movies where you had watched last year or last month. Even better, they will have a siaran ulangan tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.So there's no big deal about missing it.it will come up again sooner or later.But there was one time, where i waited years for a movie i really want to watch to come up again-When Harry Met Sally-just watched it two weeks ago after waiting for 2 years?if im not mistaken.
Facebook is even more boring.The same routine all the times.You post something, people comment.You browse through, find some updates that interest you, comment on it and you are done.What's new? Games?i am not really into games..i dont like things that get me addicted.Besides, the games just require you to click here and there and you are done.i dont know why people liked the game so much.But maybe it is a form of de-stress.Probably.
I have plan for saturday morning-go shopping, and some other things that need to be done.but the thing is to actually do it.and im still not sure whether i can do it as early as possible-given the fact that im not asleep at this time of the day..So i have to do some adjustment of time. i planned to hibernate-depending on the course of event during the day.Hibernate is the coolest thing to do on a long holiday like this.So as to recharge energy for the coming days.
My friends are away on holiday.They left me with fish and flower.So that will be my core business for the holidays.great.
these few days, i have been busy with assignments and other related works-infact im going to continue/start-whatever terms that suited it-on Monday.i am optimist that i can settle half of it by then.im optimist.and will try my best to execute my plan.
i guess i'll just hit my bed and sleep.because finally my eyes are getting heavier.
Finally...
Feb 12, 2010
Toxic
8 Toxic Personality that Sap Your Energy-Brett's Blog
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your ‘buttons’ are, and push them to get what they want.
•Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them “It isn’t always about you.”
•Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can’t appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they’ll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people’s unique perspectives refreshing, they find them ‘wrong’. If you like someone’s eclectic taste, they find it ‘disturbing’ or ‘bad’.
•Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
•Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a ‘there, there’ type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
• Why they are toxic: People who aren’t sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won’t be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
•Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don’t respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
•Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don’t see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
my notes-but isnt labelling people into categories make us more stress?hmm
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your ‘buttons’ are, and push them to get what they want.
•Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them “It isn’t always about you.”
•Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can’t appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they’ll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people’s unique perspectives refreshing, they find them ‘wrong’. If you like someone’s eclectic taste, they find it ‘disturbing’ or ‘bad’.
•Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
•Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a ‘there, there’ type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
• Why they are toxic: People who aren’t sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won’t be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
•Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don’t respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
•Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don’t see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
my notes-but isnt labelling people into categories make us more stress?hmm
Feb 10, 2010
The Story of The Pencil
By Paulo Coelho in Like the Flowing River
A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At point, he asked: “Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?”
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: “I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up”.
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special. “But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!”
“That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.
“The first quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.
Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.
Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.
Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action”.
A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At point, he asked: “Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?”
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: “I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up”.
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special. “But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!”
“That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.
“The first quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.
Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.
Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.
Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action”.
Feb 8, 2010
Monday
I love Monday.It is one of my favourite days.i love the rush and the excitement.More so ever, i love the feeling of coming back to work after having accomplish whatever tasks from the week before.the sense of accomplishment and the anticipation of things to come are overwhelming.i soooo LOVE Monday.And also for the fact that, i get to see, and talk to people again after some times alone during the weekend.
This week is quite a busy weekend for me.Because i was less creative at the time, i have to mark tons of papers-assignment and homeworks of my students.So, during the weekend, i was marking,with the TV switched on or the radio sometimes.Given the number of papers i needed to mark, it was quite a satisfaction to be able to do so many other things around the house.i always love multitasking.It is a great feeling to be able to do so many things, and not just sit around doing the same thing all the time but somehow cant finish it.
This week is also a very thoughtful week for me.i watched a lot of good movies, a lot of programs which strenghten my belief in humanity- lot others that make me think about myself and my life in general. I had been quite impulsive, unstable these lately.i confused my values, and had been doing things which are meaningless to me.i had been with people who dont give a damn about a thing-because probably deep down in my heart, i believe that they are not as bad as they may seem.i had allowed things to just happened without really caring where it would take me. I allowed myself to experience unnecessary pain because i cared so much about people who dont care how things will affect me.People who just want to be with me just for something that i have and willing to give.People who dont respect boundary but want others to respect their wishes.i feel bored and tired.Tired of unpredictable nature and tired of people who keep on disappearing on me.That it is very sad to think that you are close to this one person, but you are not even considered a friend.what a sad way of behaving.If anybody ever wondered why i hate-detest-despise hypocrite/pretender-is because i can see past that.i can see it with when people are lying.I will hate myself for what i see and hate them for even trying to pretend..
The great thing about thinking and writing is i get to analyse my own life.Well,great writer has a great sense of curosity.But in the past, great writers committed suicide because they over analysed things, and they can see past things.i prefer to look at it from the positive side.
still, i love Monday:o)
This week is quite a busy weekend for me.Because i was less creative at the time, i have to mark tons of papers-assignment and homeworks of my students.So, during the weekend, i was marking,with the TV switched on or the radio sometimes.Given the number of papers i needed to mark, it was quite a satisfaction to be able to do so many other things around the house.i always love multitasking.It is a great feeling to be able to do so many things, and not just sit around doing the same thing all the time but somehow cant finish it.
This week is also a very thoughtful week for me.i watched a lot of good movies, a lot of programs which strenghten my belief in humanity- lot others that make me think about myself and my life in general. I had been quite impulsive, unstable these lately.i confused my values, and had been doing things which are meaningless to me.i had been with people who dont give a damn about a thing-because probably deep down in my heart, i believe that they are not as bad as they may seem.i had allowed things to just happened without really caring where it would take me. I allowed myself to experience unnecessary pain because i cared so much about people who dont care how things will affect me.People who just want to be with me just for something that i have and willing to give.People who dont respect boundary but want others to respect their wishes.i feel bored and tired.Tired of unpredictable nature and tired of people who keep on disappearing on me.That it is very sad to think that you are close to this one person, but you are not even considered a friend.what a sad way of behaving.If anybody ever wondered why i hate-detest-despise hypocrite/pretender-is because i can see past that.i can see it with when people are lying.I will hate myself for what i see and hate them for even trying to pretend..
The great thing about thinking and writing is i get to analyse my own life.Well,great writer has a great sense of curosity.But in the past, great writers committed suicide because they over analysed things, and they can see past things.i prefer to look at it from the positive side.
still, i love Monday:o)
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