it's been a long time. i simply dont have the time to build up my thought. too busy.probably.
i have this vulnerable feeling. i fear something that i dont know. something that is beyond control.
i fear for the future that might not show its face at all. i fear that everyone i love is going to be gone in a blink of an eye, and i cant hold their hand strong enough. i fear that i am living an empty life and when it comes to the day of judgment, nothing of what i have done in this world would matter a bit. i am fearful, and i dont know..my feeling is so vast that sometimes i felt overwhelmed by it. maybe it was too much thinking. Maybe it was coming of age. As if all the sunny, warm, breezy days are gone. .. What is this feeling? Depression? or Delusion?
