Just some trains of thought i am having.
i was amused to see some people twisted definition of friendship. Pity, of all the air of perfectionist they possessed, at the end of the day, it is a display of how immature adults can be. How childish. How very closed minded they really are.
I went to a program tonight. This is not the first program i have been. i like showing up whenever invited. but i learned to let go of this perfect version of always being there. I sometimes didn't attend to invitations. But very rarely. This is not the first program i went especially to give support to fellow mates. I have been to quite a few programs which i was not directly involved, but i went anyway because of this "friendship" thingy. It doesnt hurt a bit. It never hurt me to show up for a friend. I made it a point to be there for people i care about. I dont just make a speech out of it. I don't just be there because i need someone to accompany me to breakfast or lunch. I dont just be there for people because i need someone who can laugh out loud or lash at someone else. i dont just be there because i think that i need someone exclusive. i am there because i want to be there. As a friend. to be happy together. To experience the down time together.
But, people choose to be perfect instead of admitting that at some point of life they screwed up. People would rather die with their vanity i guess. Kindness is just a word without meaning. i understand that.i feel sorry for these people who have no respect for friendship and go about hurting the friendship. What's with them anyway? If you are a good friend, you would be happy for all the good things that happened to your friend. You dont go about pointing mistakes. It's not your life anyway, unless you have something going on for this friend of yours, then i can understand your bitterness. My opinion.
While i appreciate the friends i have now, i would like to express my heartfelt contempt for this one person for all the lies she told me. Big timed Liar. so my first judgment about her was right. Can't trust a pretty face. Always full of sneaky games up her sleeves.It must feel good to her to manipulate others so very easily. well, some people you just have to stay away from. .
I have been in terrible situation with people whom i think were my friends. Read: people i can trust. It turned out that these people were only there when they want someone to follow their whim and fancy. They dont have respect for my feeling. They dont have respect for the friendship. They just want a cover for their asses. Though, it was hurting first degree, i dont go about hurting them. I let everybody be happy with their choices i continue moving on with my life. I didn't go about tarnishing their good reputation. I didn't win anything but i didn't lost anything either. So it is a win-win for me. I didn't care about winning. Come to think of it, i still have some degree of respect for the good times spent together. Oh yes, it was terribly damaging to my ego but Allah has already replaced them with all the good people i met on the way to recovery. Alhamdulillah and Insya Allah, this will continue.
Just a reminder : Janganlah kerana terlalu sibuk mendongak ke langit, rasa diri di awang-awangan, menjadi sombong sampai lupa hendak berpijak di bumi yang nyata. It's always better to be kind, than being right. Kebaikan itu tak menyakitkan. Sakit itu adalah kerana kesombongan diri sendiri.
# Being kind is a purpose. Insya Allah.
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 21, 2013
Indecisiveness
Havent decide on anything yet. People can advice you of anything, but they dont understand what's going on with your life. They dont care about the consequence.
Havent decide whether to apply for transfer or not. i dont know what's the reason i can put there that will give me the advantage over the rest of the people who apply for transfer.
Havent decide whether to go for that person or not. Me and my insecurity always get the better of me. I don't want to be influenced by other people judgment. If i choose to be with him, it means that i have to stand strong just to be with him which i am not sure at the moment whether i want to or not. The more i think about it, the more i feel sad because my feeling is inclined on saying no to the opportunity of being with him. But if i am with him, wouldn't i be having the advantage of having someone dear that i can turn to, whenever i feel like needing support and a little bit of TLC?
i dont know whether i want to go through this life here.in this place. where it had hurt me so badly.
Mar 16, 2013
To Cupid from the Fallen
"I cant seem to find myself, No
I cant seem to ease my mind
I.Think.I am. Falling
I am falling in love and I,
I cant stop falling in love with you..."
Playing on repeat in my head. along with the mob flash... :)
Not an easy move to do. I'm not even sure i want to move to that direction. Or am i fit for the person in question. And there's no way to find out. And there's no way to ignore the question.
Im postponing the inevitable because im not ready to open my heart. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being hurt. Fear of actually being emotionally engaged to the person in question
*Fear of myself
Mar 14, 2013
Al-Fatihah
Solemn.
Another man has gone down in the battle field. The sadness that we feel will never be as greater as those whose family members had gone down in the battle. Ours is an understatement of sadness. theirs were overwhelming. Where to turn to if not to the Almighty for strength and guidance? We always are so proud of this country and we even took its peace and stability for granted. Now, it should serve as a reminder of how easily it could have taken away, how fragile life can be. Let's pray in our deepest prayer that all will be well soon, In sha Allah.
Solemn.
i was in class-a remaining fifteen minutes of time when i decided to ask my students to pray together for the Fallen. In the hope that it would incite the love for Malaysia. As i went along with my short condolence speech, i started toget overwhelmed with my emotion. i cried helplessly. My students remained in silent the few seconds of complete togetherness. i was terribly upset of the inhuman acts of the enemy. i was thinking about the helplessness. They were engaged in hours of endless tortures and humiliation-which were unthinkable for a normal thinking individual. Although later on, my sister updated that, the gangs were the drug dealers who might be under the influence of narcotics at that time. Yes, without senses and rationality, anyone can turn into a beast.
Solemn.
It remains the bloodiest of event. Us with theoretical battle experiences, and them with advanced battle techniques- there was no way we can fight experience. They dragged us down with experiences.and most probably blind courage. Bloody Bukit Kepong is brought to life
Condolence to the family. Al - Fatihah.
Another man has gone down in the battle field. The sadness that we feel will never be as greater as those whose family members had gone down in the battle. Ours is an understatement of sadness. theirs were overwhelming. Where to turn to if not to the Almighty for strength and guidance? We always are so proud of this country and we even took its peace and stability for granted. Now, it should serve as a reminder of how easily it could have taken away, how fragile life can be. Let's pray in our deepest prayer that all will be well soon, In sha Allah.
Solemn.
i was in class-a remaining fifteen minutes of time when i decided to ask my students to pray together for the Fallen. In the hope that it would incite the love for Malaysia. As i went along with my short condolence speech, i started toget overwhelmed with my emotion. i cried helplessly. My students remained in silent the few seconds of complete togetherness. i was terribly upset of the inhuman acts of the enemy. i was thinking about the helplessness. They were engaged in hours of endless tortures and humiliation-which were unthinkable for a normal thinking individual. Although later on, my sister updated that, the gangs were the drug dealers who might be under the influence of narcotics at that time. Yes, without senses and rationality, anyone can turn into a beast.
Solemn.
It remains the bloodiest of event. Us with theoretical battle experiences, and them with advanced battle techniques- there was no way we can fight experience. They dragged us down with experiences.and most probably blind courage. Bloody Bukit Kepong is brought to life
Condolence to the family. Al - Fatihah.
Mar 9, 2013
29
Saya berumur 29 tahun lima hari hari ini.
Older yes. As always hoping to be even more wiser and mature than i had been last year. Alhamdulillah ya Allah for this life and for the opportunity to still be here to fulfill my responsibility and duty.
Well, life moves on as usual. not much interesting things to discuss about. Lahad Datu is generally safe,Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
The most unexpected birthday present was the RM300 summon for memandu laju. The nicest was a transcribed birthday card from my students. The sweetest was butter cake from my boss. Sweet because before that, i was craving for the cake, and he bought it to the office saying that " kek ini bagi kamu". That's a very kind thing to do, though shouldn't be taken personally. Too bad, at that time i was fasting. i managed to take one slice home with me. Thank you so much for the thought :)
And, my bucket list-finding a boyfriend-surprisingly progressing well. Unfortunately, i have this habit of turning down offers of serious relationship. there's just no sparks/chemistry. So i guess this bucket list would be pending for god's know how long. You can just be in a relationship whenever there's an offer / opportunity, right? I don't believe that. I don't believe in jumping into it just because you want to be in a relationship: just because everyone else is in a relationship. That would be naivety.
I don't really have a plan for this year: i dont really believe that life should be this and that. I mean, that would be a terribly stressful life. Better to live it as it is. Just live in the moment and make plans as we move along.
Everything in this world has its own natural course. Better leave it just the way it is. We will reach the conclusion sooner or later. That's Allah's promise to His Servants.
Something interesting i found in the net: "God said come forth and get eternal happiness. I came in third and get a toaster instead" sometimes, it is as simple as following Allah's way in order for happiness to take place. It is certainly for the best
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for the all the blessing, i couldnt possibly ask for more.
Older yes. As always hoping to be even more wiser and mature than i had been last year. Alhamdulillah ya Allah for this life and for the opportunity to still be here to fulfill my responsibility and duty.
Well, life moves on as usual. not much interesting things to discuss about. Lahad Datu is generally safe,Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
The most unexpected birthday present was the RM300 summon for memandu laju. The nicest was a transcribed birthday card from my students. The sweetest was butter cake from my boss. Sweet because before that, i was craving for the cake, and he bought it to the office saying that " kek ini bagi kamu". That's a very kind thing to do, though shouldn't be taken personally. Too bad, at that time i was fasting. i managed to take one slice home with me. Thank you so much for the thought :)
And, my bucket list-finding a boyfriend-surprisingly progressing well. Unfortunately, i have this habit of turning down offers of serious relationship. there's just no sparks/chemistry. So i guess this bucket list would be pending for god's know how long. You can just be in a relationship whenever there's an offer / opportunity, right? I don't believe that. I don't believe in jumping into it just because you want to be in a relationship: just because everyone else is in a relationship. That would be naivety.
I don't really have a plan for this year: i dont really believe that life should be this and that. I mean, that would be a terribly stressful life. Better to live it as it is. Just live in the moment and make plans as we move along.
Everything in this world has its own natural course. Better leave it just the way it is. We will reach the conclusion sooner or later. That's Allah's promise to His Servants.
Something interesting i found in the net: "God said come forth and get eternal happiness. I came in third and get a toaster instead" sometimes, it is as simple as following Allah's way in order for happiness to take place. It is certainly for the best
Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for the all the blessing, i couldnt possibly ask for more.
Mar 3, 2013
Talk is cheaper
What do we gain from the current political unrest and Malaysian's shallow mindedness? Basically nothing.
So many of those Mr. Know it all on the loose. So many opinions and coffee shop talks going on. It looks like the younger generation (my generation) is so keen to believe that the solution to all problems is arms, swords and violence. But really, what have we gained from the blood sheds? nothing. More people are dying, insecurity, and political instability. Havent we learned a single damned thing of BERSIH and the Bloody May incident?Those were all the agenda of people whose fight has nothing to do with "Malaysia". Those were for personal gains no matter what it was. Those were because some people were selfish and not sensitive to what matters. We build up this country for 50 years over and we couldn't possibly want to destroy it over night because of some people personal agenda that has nothing to do with national interest. Well some people sure need to spend precious times in the library.
The key word is "National Interest".
I dont care which party rules Putrajaya, but it has to be the one that can translate "national interest" into the system. Not just some bloody Tom, Dick and Harry who are only up for the power. This, Malaysia is not a gamble. No, Mr. Not a gamble at all.
May Allah be with us.
So many of those Mr. Know it all on the loose. So many opinions and coffee shop talks going on. It looks like the younger generation (my generation) is so keen to believe that the solution to all problems is arms, swords and violence. But really, what have we gained from the blood sheds? nothing. More people are dying, insecurity, and political instability. Havent we learned a single damned thing of BERSIH and the Bloody May incident?Those were all the agenda of people whose fight has nothing to do with "Malaysia". Those were for personal gains no matter what it was. Those were because some people were selfish and not sensitive to what matters. We build up this country for 50 years over and we couldn't possibly want to destroy it over night because of some people personal agenda that has nothing to do with national interest. Well some people sure need to spend precious times in the library.
The key word is "National Interest".
I dont care which party rules Putrajaya, but it has to be the one that can translate "national interest" into the system. Not just some bloody Tom, Dick and Harry who are only up for the power. This, Malaysia is not a gamble. No, Mr. Not a gamble at all.
May Allah be with us.
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