OOPS...i did it again!

what did i do this time?

im troubling myself thinking about other people's business.

i start my new year with a resolution to focus on my career, and to improve myself on all aspects of life. therefore, i made the decision to ignore unrelated things, and try to not waste my time on something that is not meaningful. and due to that, some of things that i thought were interesting in the past, have ceased to be interesting.and i willingly dropped them.nothing personal.just a change of priority.and to be truthful, my effort has been going on just fine.

However, due to my extreme self consciousness of what others might feel, how others would think if i do this and that, i started a cycle of time-wasting activity...again.

Now, the problem is my effort was only an attempt to show that i still care about some human aspect.BUT, that it is nothing special..and what i thought was my honest effort to maintain friendship was seen as an attempt to resume where it was left off.

now i have to live with the consequence that: someone is here thinking that he is somehow that special someone..

OOPS!!!

well, if u know me well, you should've known that, im an all rounders who mix and mingle with everybody around.

Dont let my flirtatiousness gets to your head.

Alhamdulillah

Praise be to the Almighty Allah for the good news.

I applied for kenaikan tangga gaji earlier last year together with one of the staffs in the department. earlier on his application was rejected by the higher up.
i was in doubt myself after that. all these talks about those people who dont give any consideration for us the laymen etc..the truth was, i dont really mind if they rejected it. i can re-apply again. For me, everything has its solution. So i prepared for the worse. and later on, i forgot entirely about the application. i dont want to be desperate for something that i have no power over. Best to leave it to its own course.

But today is indeed a good day. our PT informed me that my application IS succesful.
I am truly happy it actually humbled me.

I am one of the providers in the family. With responsibility building up, and the needs for betterment of life on the rise, money is an unquestionably important factor.Having extras are basically heaven for me...:o)It is the relief that i need.

Ya Allah, janji Mu benar Ya Allah. Alhamdullillahi rabbal 'alamin. La Hawla wa laa quwwata illa billahil 'aliyul 'azim.

Stop

For once, trust what you know.
what you can do.

After all, what people told you are not necessarily correct or the truth..

For once.

Stop doubting yourself.

Stop doubting

..these are the dialogue i said to my students. I caught two of the girls referring to one another in a quiz. So in an attempt to stop them, i blurted out these words..

before finally realizing that i was referring more to myself than to them...

Of everything

As you grow, so does your ideas, preferences and viewpoint.

Many things happened these few weeks. Nothing particularly news-value/exciting. Still it creates many room for thinking, considering and reconsidering.

First thing first, my kind-hearted boss is moving away. This very coming June. For all the supports and professional guidance he has given so far, i feel quite empty and down. Thinking what would happen after he finally move to the new place..Nothing would be same without him. So far, i have met with quite a number of bosses, he is the best two.(2 people are the best for me so far)..Because they allow for professional improvement and also emotional growth. They make it very clear that you are a subordinate, while at the same time, allow for your creativity to take charge.But, it is too early to judge. Who know, the person who would take over his place would be even better?..Hard to tell

Secondly, i feel quite fed up and boring with my current interest. there are things about him that i found unsettling. Being the independent type, i don't really fancy un-manly attitude in a guy. I get bored with people who whine and complaint almost all the time ALMOST about everything.I'm the optimistic type.i'm resourceful, i have plenty of sense of humour but i dont have the patient to be agreeable and nice about everything that i dont like. I learn from experience that, no matter what the situation you have to trust your snap judgment "what is the first thing your intuition tell you about a thing". So my resolution is to just ignore people who DO NOT REFLECT my attitude towards life.

Thirdly, life is moving on. But i have expected it already, so i'm not surprised by most event which will or had occurred. we have to honour the nature of things, by which when it start, it will surely end. So rather then being heavy-hearted about that, i'll just try to embrace the change, do what i can to assimilate or accomodate, and i'll pray to Allah for the rest. Insya allah, everything will work out just fine..

Thirdly, well..my happiness does not depends on specific thing or people. I will be the sole authority of my life, what i do or don't do. And my only hope, and sole protector is The Almighty Allah.

Insya Allah.

Visiting the past

What you do to a person who-after 17 years of absent comes back into your life?would you still feel the same?can you still remember the feeling?are you willing to catch up where you left off?

I'm not. i cant remember any feeling or emotion. i cant remember anything. I'd rather for it to be over for good. Especially now when we have different life and responsibility to pursue. I dont have the energy to share with anyone who has long gone.17 years was an awful long years to reminisce any memory to stay lingering around. It's time to tie the loose end. No matter what is the consequence. No matter what the future hold or how bright it is.

Perhaps, when we broke off with somebody, we learn to move on with our lives.

But how to tell that to a person who insisted on re-living the past?

gossiping the gossiper

People!

They get mad when people talk about their damned ass, but acted particularly excited when they want to bitch about other people's business.

The gossiper are gossiping about things that have no relation to them. It's darned annoying because these are the people who turn the table upside down when people are talking about them..

Bitches.

Happy thoughts to ponder

IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and

annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful

world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this

world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look

around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN we see and praise the good and try our

best to forget the bad. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfectness in

them to change the way we see them. We are not trying to condone what is

bad. Correction does much, but encouragement does more. "The blue of heaven

is larger than the clouds.

Outing Reflection

Out for an early dinner or rather a late lunch with one of my good friends. Just spent the time talking about none specific things.eating.laughing. and sharing. Feel good.

I feel positive, and happy.

i want to be around positive and happy people. i want to be around people who inspire me to do better. i want to be around people who value life, and everything it has to offer. i want to be around people who appreciate my friendship, and not those who come looking for me when they need somebody whom they can take advantage of.

i want to show that i am happy, and my happiness does not depend on specific object or people. That without those things or people, i can live my life just fine.

it has the desired effect. my sharp intuition is coming back - maybe because my judgment is no longer clouded with negativity.

im determined to stay positive. im determined to be in the game-vibrant with life, full of promises to be better and focus towards my goal.

Insya Allah.

i heard the most beautiful thing my student said today. "Everything is possible"

Yes,Everything is Possible.:o)