11th hour

sending off my little brother and sister halfway to home. i'm having a heavy feeling already. thinking of the emptiness of my house when they are no longer there.. oh well. both of them have something better to do. and i should, as always, should learn to accept the coming and going of people. may Allah protect them along the way, and reach their destination safe and sound. i enjoyed the responsibility while they are with me. really did enjoy myself :)

i hope it's not too early to wish myself a happy new year. May the year to come is as productive as it could be better than ever, more fulfilling and more happiness. it's time to forget the heartache or the regret for whatever it is that doesnt turn out the way we want it. it's time to forgive yourself for all the mistakes or errors.  hopefully as we get older, we get better too. and wiser in every sense of the word. Insya Allah.

next year, im going to finish up my puasa ganti earlier.

next year, im going to start saving and cut off a bit on unnecessary expenses.

next year is all about self improvement. Insya Allah.

Some of the things

I'm studying!!!..

Wonderful, wonderful. I'm studying for two of my new subjects this semester. That would be soft skills and financial management. What business does an English graduate do with Financial Management?? well, that's an interesting part of it. I don't have anything to do with it. But after reading and flipping through book on "Money Sense", i feel that i will be able to manage. my little sister even asked similar question. would i be able to handle it? I will. oh yes, i will. Maybe it's good karma coming back. When i was in secondary school, i never gotten less than A for my Economy. So yes. i will be just fine. :)

 I have been teaching Moral Education for two semesters, and i could say i love it. It brought me back to basic humanity. Hard work, but enjoyable. 

My brother and sister at home with me here in Mukah. and there are never any dull moment. The funny thing? i change into my mother overnight. nag, nag, nag. laugh, laugh, laugh. eat, eat, eat. my sister is an excellent cook. All the chats before bed is refreshing. the silly games? terribly childish and hilarious. there was one time where we watched TV and sat in parallel position side by side, when i suddenly felt like leaning to my side, on the pretense on making the most lightweight person fall off.. It never happened. We were laughing mid way. CRAZZZZYYY.. hahaha

Watched too many movies, manipulated them to improve my English.

On a more serious note, i would look at the current change as a means to widen my repertoire. And also, as a good Muslim, it is a duty/responsibilty/aim to attempt it in the best of our ability, right? 

Insya Allah, biiznillah. 

Fun, Fearless and Fabulous

Just some tagline i read from a magazine. I would like it to be my theme from now on. Although i could be a very dull and boring person when i choose to be but hey, "FUN" can be applied to a lot of things in life. Fun as in Interesting life. Which come to think of it, there were never any dull moment in my life. Always full of dramatic turns-as i would like to see it.

Fearless. Well, if being strong and courageous is what it meant, then i would be one. facing life difficulty with strong determination, positive and optimistic. What could sum up "fearless" if not that?

Fabulous. Quite hard to describe myself as being fabulous. But how about being nice and pleasant to be around, taking care of people that matter, sincere, sympathetic, great sense of humour, non judgmental, appreciative, helpful, diligent, and being true to myself and people around me-well, that's fabulous for me. :)
I no longer feel insecure about myself. Yes, confidence is the key to being fabulous. Not by the admiration or attention of frenemies or friend for crying out loud.

I feel mounting tension at the beginning of the weeks. Mostly because of works, too many things to be responsible of, too many people to take care of. As i go along, i believe there's nothing that i can do other than "Do". No complaint.

I got a little upset also: people sometimes are so inconsiderate. But what i think: Fake, Two face and backstabbing get old baby. But you, as you grow up, your pattern follow, and you never change. and that is not  my problem. So i decided to "NOT" be one of your kind.  i never do anything harmful to other people's life. Move on and be glad that i realised im not at all like her. And happy with my uncomplicated life. So yes. You may want to continue being such a stabber, baby. I decided to not play "Your game".

By the way i have a new department-The Commerce. My fourth Jabatan this year alone. But i'm looking at it with positive outlook. Start afresh. learn something new. Be the best version of myself. All over again. And thinking that i dont have to think about having to act like im walking on a thin line anymore. Don't have to prove to anyone but myself that, well i deserve what i have. Coz i know i deserve everything i have. No question of that. I work hard.  im looking at it as a blessing in disguise.

So much of the confidence i had. until i met Pak Abu. Sad. But i have already lost him long before the transfer. And if he really care about having me around, he would've done something to keep our friendship. Time will mend it, im sure. I have to go for myself. When i lost my bestmate, i learned that what best for me is not neccessarily the best for other people. While i regretted what happened, i always believe that it was for the best. Someone has to go. Someone has to move one. there's always a possibility that someone will be somebody from the past. that's an accepted fact. :)

I thanked Allah for everything that has works out so smoothly which i could never imagine possible.  I thanked Allah for all the best people who was there for me. Even for a simple smile or act of encouragement.

i mean, that is the only way to live, right? Redha dengan apa yang berlaku. Cuba setiap saat untuk improve diri. There's no use crying over a lost cause.

Insya Allah.