Every girl will go through the stage of getting married at least once in their life. For some, it is anticipated and waited for. Some avoid it altogether. Some are considering it. Some couldn't care less. It's all happened a few week back for me. My mother called me full of excitement and hope that everything would ends happily for everyone. It was a happy moment for her. I was happy for the news.But, even before my mother put the phone down, tears were running uncontrollably down my cheeks.
i cried helplessly.i just couldn't bring myself to even think about the prospect.i could't go through with it.
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 9, 2011
Mr.Clumsy
Even if you are clumsy, even if you are weird,
Even when you are moody, or when you are rude,
Even when you sit silently, or just nod
or when you smile, or when you are serious
or when you joke
or laugh
or teasing
or many other surprising sides of you
imperfect in many ways
But still perfect in my eyes
(^_^)
Nov 8, 2011
Nov 7, 2011
The Joy of Life
Life is very unpredictable in nature. Nevertheless, there are million things to be thankful for. Million things that make us happy. Million things to be proud of. Million things to look forward too. Million things to learn from.
i couldn't possibly put my feeling into words for this image. all i know is when i took this picture, i was struck by feeling of awe and excitement. i was humbled by the movement, the tiny fingers, the head, legs and the life inside. It washed away my former self and changed it with a new determination to appreciate life and time in general. It made me want to be "present" in my life.
Moving on is what i want to do. and will continue doing. For me.
Oct 31, 2011
Not another Adrian Mole
..or Adrianne Mole..
i have loads of things going on. Just as i thought i wouldn't be able to pull through, well, everything well that ends well.:o)
Although, it's too early to say, but what better things to do other than pushing hard and being optimistic in time of chaos? I have been managing quite well, and if i keep working hard, everything would be okay.
So, why Adrian Mole? Adrian is a boy who loves to exaggerate almost all aspects of his life. Some find it comical, some ironic. For me, i think that Adrian Mole is an embodiment of naivety-everyone experienced the stage at one point of life.Seriousness that laced with naivety.It is ironic for me because usually what was seen and understood in times of innocence were pretty much the truth.But as we grow up, we tend to disregard what we know/believe because what was realistic in an adult world is different from the younger one.We can't cope with seriousness, therefore we tend to laugh it off and pretend that everything is comical.
Adrian Mole is a suitable theme for my overwhelming feeling of happiness-by which i tend to exaggerate everything i see-in a good way,of course:o)
i have loads of things going on. Just as i thought i wouldn't be able to pull through, well, everything well that ends well.:o)
Although, it's too early to say, but what better things to do other than pushing hard and being optimistic in time of chaos? I have been managing quite well, and if i keep working hard, everything would be okay.
So, why Adrian Mole? Adrian is a boy who loves to exaggerate almost all aspects of his life. Some find it comical, some ironic. For me, i think that Adrian Mole is an embodiment of naivety-everyone experienced the stage at one point of life.Seriousness that laced with naivety.It is ironic for me because usually what was seen and understood in times of innocence were pretty much the truth.But as we grow up, we tend to disregard what we know/believe because what was realistic in an adult world is different from the younger one.We can't cope with seriousness, therefore we tend to laugh it off and pretend that everything is comical.
Adrian Mole is a suitable theme for my overwhelming feeling of happiness-by which i tend to exaggerate everything i see-in a good way,of course:o)
Oct 27, 2011
Clamouring
Some things to note...
First thing first, i need to improve my English. in my opinion, it is very shameful to write in bad English, if you are one of the persons teaching it. Supposedly, by now, by any standard, to come out with a well constructed english sentence should be easier than those who are not teaching in this field. Supposedly, we, as the people who had received extensive exposure on the subject should be a master of it. By now, any excuse you give pertaining to your capability is not acceptable. i am in dire needs to improve my english, before it gets even worse. it annoys me so much seeing people who supposedly a master in it(by looking at their academic background) marred it with their own incompetency in using the language. Therefore, i am going to start my improvement process by visiting language site in the net, and by doing exercises on my grammar books. it is always a challenge that can't be refuse.To Improve!
Secondly, i am experiencing the joy of being a woman. i was having a terrible mood swing lately. It started with a very moody feeling before it changed to an unexpectedly happy one. But the worst, my whole body was aching terribly. every inch of my body. i felt like throwing up and mostly sleepy and tired.the lesson from this is: only a girl has the privilege to experience these condition.and it is not easy. While we are at it, bear with it. Embrace it.
Thirdly, a kind of epiphany for me. But i'd rather keep it to myself. all i can say is, i was thinking too much, selfish, jealous and egoistic. i forgot that the smallest things connected the dots sometimes. But i rest my case. I'm happy with what i found.
Fourthly, i am happy for the ability to show true friendship to my friends. I am happy to just be there for him or her.I am happy i am able to express what i feel for them. i honestly love my friends.
I am busy with many commitments, but those commitments also made me happy:o)
First thing first, i need to improve my English. in my opinion, it is very shameful to write in bad English, if you are one of the persons teaching it. Supposedly, by now, by any standard, to come out with a well constructed english sentence should be easier than those who are not teaching in this field. Supposedly, we, as the people who had received extensive exposure on the subject should be a master of it. By now, any excuse you give pertaining to your capability is not acceptable. i am in dire needs to improve my english, before it gets even worse. it annoys me so much seeing people who supposedly a master in it(by looking at their academic background) marred it with their own incompetency in using the language. Therefore, i am going to start my improvement process by visiting language site in the net, and by doing exercises on my grammar books. it is always a challenge that can't be refuse.To Improve!
Secondly, i am experiencing the joy of being a woman. i was having a terrible mood swing lately. It started with a very moody feeling before it changed to an unexpectedly happy one. But the worst, my whole body was aching terribly. every inch of my body. i felt like throwing up and mostly sleepy and tired.the lesson from this is: only a girl has the privilege to experience these condition.and it is not easy. While we are at it, bear with it. Embrace it.
Thirdly, a kind of epiphany for me. But i'd rather keep it to myself. all i can say is, i was thinking too much, selfish, jealous and egoistic. i forgot that the smallest things connected the dots sometimes. But i rest my case. I'm happy with what i found.
Fourthly, i am happy for the ability to show true friendship to my friends. I am happy to just be there for him or her.I am happy i am able to express what i feel for them. i honestly love my friends.
I am busy with many commitments, but those commitments also made me happy:o)
Oct 23, 2011
Stressor
I felt so heavy these few days.
sleeplessness starts to haunt me again.too much thinking.sometimes too much tears.
i can't enjoy myself again. i am having doubts about my feeling again.
i hate it so much.
In life, there will be this one person that will always kill you just by being close to you. and i hate it because he made me cry again, and made me so unhappy.
Why can't you just let me go?
sleeplessness starts to haunt me again.too much thinking.sometimes too much tears.
i can't enjoy myself again. i am having doubts about my feeling again.
i hate it so much.
In life, there will be this one person that will always kill you just by being close to you. and i hate it because he made me cry again, and made me so unhappy.
Why can't you just let me go?
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